Ugh...

Woke up earlier like a freakin' wreck.

I mean, as many of you know... Sleep, isn't my strong point. I lack sleep so much that I get sick said the doc. 

So it was kinda amazing that I fell asleep around 10 tonight, considering Frost's been doodling around on the Xbox or ps4 all evening. (he still hasn't managed to fix a certain thing in my Xbox settings😠) moving on. 

It just felt awesome to sleep. Thank the gods and stuff ✨ (well thank lerigan too cause I took 2 of those too lol)

But some idiot called me at 10:30 (22:25) tonight and woke me up in sheer panic. Like I got up like I rose from the dead. Arms straight lol AAAAAAAAAAHHHH (I'm reacting the sound I made) 

 Do you know how sick you can get if you wake up too abruptly? Do you motherfucker?! DO. YOU? 

Like if you're in a deep sleep and then something scares you so you wake up and feel terrified, panic, and angst all at once lol  Yeah, I got sick. Like really nauseous and dizzy as fuck. I thought I was dying lol (my tummy hate me...)

Then I got really angry at that stupid ass whorephone that works when ever it fucking feels like it!!! Gah. Not when I want it to no... I wanted to throw it through the window. 😒 

Like who the fuck calls this late anyway? (you there! Shut up. I heard someone whisper granny just now) Seriously. Thank fuck Freya didn't wake up.  Last thing we want in the evening or night is an upset kid that can't fall back asleep. 😅

I figured that it's probably not someone I know though,  cause everyone that knows me knows that I fucking hate phonecalls in the evening. I hate it with a passion. Well I dislike phonecalls in general,  but I also know it's part of life. Meh. So since it's not someone I know, it probably ain't important. 

But waking up like a revived roadkill ain't cool. Nuh uh.😑

 I feel so damn sick now...  I don't know wether to puke or shit myself. I am so confused. 😐

Well falling back asleep wasn't as easy as one had hoped. But another sleeping pill later, and I'm yawning. (I guess it's progress?) 

So thank you whoever you are for waking me up. It's always so easy to sleep when you have kids lol NOT. 

Good God I'm so sleepy that I'm drooling....

Edit: well I did get a little worried for a moment that someone might need me. Like if mom was hospitalized again.😶  But then I was like 😑  if it was important, they'd leave a fucking message. Damn right they would.😏

I barely answer my phone these days. Mostly cause my phone and I are mortal enemies.... But also cause it's so broken that I forget where I leave it. Btw I think I might've gotten a glass splinter from the screen earlier 😐 Yep, yay for broken glass displays lol

OK back to sleep. 

It came

Heeeey baby! Woho!!


My phone's acting weird, but you know what to do.
And ya'll probably know what I'm gonna be up to.

My game

My new game should arrive today. (Call of Duty world war II) I'm hoping it'll be a fun game. Unfortunately I'm worried that most players will camp in this game. And I fucking hate campers.

Anyway, now to a different subject:

Freyster got her first ring the other day. I've been meaning to post a pic of it but somehow it must've slipped my mind. Freya got onto me about taking a photo of her ring lmao

 And here's a pic of Freya's marbles that she loves oh so much.

Basically I just took pictures of Freyas favorite things. haha

Alright.......I seriously think I need a nap now or coffee through an IV. 

My cold is just...lingering around I guess. Just bugging me and my voice and my sinus... I don't think I need to go into details on how annoying colds are.


Anyhooo....I had a meeting with my psychologist yesterday. It went really well. "Acceptance" is what I gotta work hard on. It would appear that I haven't fully accepted that I have hEDS lol (hEDS is the medical term for EDS type 3) She was reminding me of all the things I can do with such a high IQ. But all I saw was things I can't do. Cause these are the rules of this stupid ass society we live in.

But I guess I can always sit here and be a smug asshole knowing that I'm smarter than most people and just be dick about it. That's always something right? -_-
I'm kidding..........I'm just a lil' bitter lol

Nah, I know I was just having a little...."fit" I suppose. I should be happy. I mean, I'm me. And I like me. I'm actually confident in who I am too.  I feel like I have good qualities, and I was complimented by my psychologist too over how determined I can be. She was pleased to see all the progress I've made. That made me happy I suppose :) (cause I can be ridiculously stubborn and lazy so...lol) 

I'm also trying hard on getting rid of stress factors in my life. Some things will always be there. Duh. Like worries...some worries never goes away. You just have to deal with it. I should be grateful that I'm able to deal with things the way I do. And I also decided that my "abstract way of thinking" is a good thing. She kept saying I have an abstract way of thinking and it's highly unusual and she finds it fascinating. So then Frost said that he likes Abstract things too. lmao And so I figured hey, maybe my mind is pretty fucking awesome anyway right? Maybe an abstract mind ain't so bad.

I'm learning how to meditate too. It's going alright. And I'm trying so hard to keep my stress levels low. My doctors at the painclinic says that I need to "not be stressed".  lol The look I gave them made them laugh and say "yeah we know, it's easier said than done. But it'll help you in the long run if you decrease your stress levels".
So, that's what I'm doing. I'm avoiding anything that could make me feel stressed or worried or annoyed. Smart huh? Economy can't be avoided though....aaaaaand that fucking sucks 😒

I seriously have the best support around me though. 💜 People who are there no matter what. That I can count on at all times. You guys are fucking fabulous and marvelous. 👈 The best words for the best people.
Not that I usually need help that way, but I've learned who I can turn to in an emergency when thoughts gets too hard to handle. Yesterday I really needed someone.
So now I feel like ya'll are amazeballs.
Talking about that. We should do something to celebrate all of you 💖


And Frost.... he's just... well words can't really express how much he means to me. 💛
He's my other half and he's always got my back and I his :)   BOOM.

Sunshine and cold

(this roadsleads to something good)

Man, I woke up feeling like a cat took a shit in my mouth. My eyes were burning and I seriously couldn't breathe even the tiniest bit through my nose. -_-
My voice is still a little....raspy. Or crappy. Crappy is an excellent description. I sound like a crow attacking a cheeseburger when I speak.

But eventually I made it out of bed lol Looking like something where the Ravens likes to nest. But up I got.

And since I already made that progress of getting up, I decided to make a good and tasty breakfast. I mean, it is Friday after all.
So I made hot chocolate and some nice sandwiches for everyone. (I made healthy hot chocolate actually, and believe or not but it was fucking delicious)

So well all sat down and watched moderns family and drank our chocolate. Freyster watched Word Party though. But we all cuddled up on the couch and that's basically what matters most lol

I'm really thankful for Frost going on a diet with me, it makes it so much easier for me really. (instead of having to make different kinds of dinners for everyone) This is just easier. We still eat carbs, but in moderate amounts.
Plus he just wants to loose a few pounds an work out more so he's not really needing to be so strict. He's just being that for my sake. Motherfucking epic teamwork baby 💛

And here's what happens when a mother simply loves Christmas lol

Oh and yesterday we went home to mom and Lasse and ate pancakes. Frost was like diving in lmao and Freyster ate 4 pancakes despite having had a snack right before that. She's freakin' bottomless. O_o We stayed for quite some time. Till Freya was so tired that she was laughing at any kind of word really..............
And then she got some gifts from mom and Lasse, a princess wallet and some Frozen crayons. Which she loves. So she wanted me to draw something. So I drew Doris quickly for her ahahaha

Fancy visit

Daniel and Wille dropped by earlier. Daniel needed Frost to help him with the lights on his car. 

And somehow we all ended up watching Zootopia, and just chillin' in our living room.

No complaints though. I liked it 😊

Off for pancakes at mom's place now. 

Falling asleep

I'm in a game on the ps4 right now, having a hoot and all that.

But I'm so tired that I'm about to fall asleep right in the middle of it. Like I can't keep my eyes open...that's why I'm playing in the first place lol To stay awake haha

But now, I feel like I should listen to what everything is telling me: Take a nap.⇐

Oh btw, we went grocery shopping earlier at Willys.
Daaayyyuuum.... it was fun and we bought a lot lol
Usually grocery shopping ain't fun at all haha But it was neat. Bought like 6 bags -_-
But I was fucking tired before that really...
So now here I am. With a bleh cup of coffee in my hand, droopy eyes and my controller that's slowly slipping out of my grip.

Btw, just found the most epic mother daughter game to play on xbox. Trackmania turbo. I.AM.SO.PLEASED.
We're gonna have so much fun. And Freyster's definitely gonna like it-


Alright seriously I gotta nap... Frost just wanted me to made another update on the blog since I haven't done it in a while. So there :)

Good morning

You know, I actually like this breakfast. I eat it everyday. Yogurt with banana and honey.

Anyhooo...today is Friday, and the premiere of Stranger Things 2. WOOHOO!

J is about to pick Freya and go to the woods. :)

And tonight we're going to mom and Lasse to eat tacos. 

Talking about food, yesterday is had an awesome lunch.

Seriously, a poached ling (that's a fish btw haha), duchess potatoes and a ton of babyspinage (cause I'd rather eat more of that than the potatoes)

Fun fact, the latin name for ling is Molva Molva. (and in Swedish it's called Långa)

Yep. Now you've learned something new.

Your'e welcome.

Latte and Renoir on a good Monday

So, this is a post I forgot to post basically. (I wrote it Monday but forgot to click post ahaha)

But I was actually at the hospital on Monday. We had a big meeting and it went surprisingly well. I was so terrified that the pain clinic would say that I'm too broken to be fixed or something. (well I can never be fixed lmao but you know what I mean.) that it'd be too complicated. 

But they actually had a bunch of good ideas. 

And as of now I'm starting swimming (for freeeeeeee) and I have a certain workout that I need to do (for freeeee)  

It feels lame when I do it though, cause it's so fucking easy. But since I can't regulate my strength, the physiotherapist felt that using small movements in an easy way is better so I can learn to not use full strength and not lock my joints. 

I'm hopeful anyway. In the water it ain't as easy to lock all my joints, so I should be able to just move around freely then. 

I've also quit taking a certain medicine. The medicine itself actually worked ok on me... But unfortunately that shit made me gain weight like crazy so eventually I felt like it wasn't worth it. Sure I'd like to get free from my pain, but I also don't like being fat. It's not that I'm vain, I just wanna feel content about myself. 

So I figured that this new shit I'm gonna do is gonna help. 

After the 2 hour meeting (I always have long sessions there... Ugh) I went to see mom. And mom was actually released the day after. Yay!! Good stuff, good stuff. 💙

Welp, I've got such a schedule to keep now. Shit... But I'm hopeful. 

Oh and on the same day we got incredibly awesome news. 🌸 Woho! I'll tell you all about it some other time though (no I'm not pregnant, Jesus...) 

But it's definitely awesome news! 

Iiiiih!! 🌟

Little mom

So, right after our lunch mom went to the ER... and then she was put in the ICU.

And now she back in the same place she was last time.

Mom's not doing too well...but she's responding really well to the antibiotics do that's good at least.
I just wish shit would work and that she'd get better.
My heart breaks when mom is suffering so much...


Shit just ain't the same without her.

PlayerUnknown's battleground

I'm probably getting this game once it's released for xbox one 💛





PlayerUnknown's battleground looks like it'd be epic :D