First good day in a while again

Well you know, these days come and go lol
But I oh so do appreciate a good day :D
And today's been sweet AF.

Like, last week... I had like two amazing days with Frost. And one of the days we went and had a date in town and shit. *Fuck yeah* And then snuggles and fun with Freya when we came home. Those days were just perfect you know? I like the other days of my life too, but the days I'm given where the pain levels are lower, and I even have emergy.... yeah those are the best days usually lol

And then I think the day after.... my knee got dislocated again. But not the same way it had been the week before....as per usual it immediately hopped into place again, but the pain and shock I went through... now that was different. The pain was extreme, and unexpected too. Cause I've sort or already gotten used to getting my knee dislocated. I'm used to the pain, so normal people would scream when that happens.... I'm mostly quiet about it..But this time, I screamed like I freakin' belonged in an asylum or something. The pain was fucking weird and unreal. I KNEW I fucked something up big time then.
And then I continued to cry hysterically for half an hour or so....

I didn't cry cause I was hurting though. I cried cause right then I felt that.. Fuck, I had one good day. ONE. And then everything came crumbling down again. FAST. Everything got drowned in pain and agony....again.
It just got dislocated again without me actually even moving. So I cried out of frustration.... later that evening my brother came to visit too. But I was kinda like in a apathetic state, so eventually Frost went outside with him and they smoked. I remember that Daniel tried to talk to me. But I wasn't really... I dunno, I wasn't really listening at first I guess. And then I realized after a while that I looked like a racoon. My eyeliner and mascara had been smeared all over the place from crying so hard 😑 And frost had ordered me a sallad, so he tried to make me eat (it was my absolute favorite food so..)
I tried to talk to Daniel I think? Or maybe I didn't.... I actually don't remember most of that evening.
I remember asking him not to tell anyone. Cause the last thing I needed was another one asking me if I was ok. I reeeeaaaallyy didn't want to talk about it anymore. No need to make me sound more pitiful than I already do 😬😬😬 Fuck that.


But the day after I was walking again so... progressing fast in a way, progressing bad too.

The only difference is that ever since thursday, I've noticed that my knee actually comes off completely every other step I take. Like it actually comes loose. And it's scary and gross. And I know that if I don't pay 100% focus on it... it's gonna get dislocated for reals.
So, I decided then and there to accept the offer, to do the knee surgery.

I wanna wait till winter, since the infections risks are smaller then. And I'm more prone to get infections and shit... But these are thoughts that I've been struggling with since friday last week.
I've been feeling depressed and really lost and alone.

My brother and Frost have both been very supporting though... both kept encouraging me all week. And Frost's been trying to cheer me up a lot. It's just hard to feel happy when your'e sitting there wondering how your body is gonna work, if it's even gonna be of use to you. Or if it's just going to be in the way. Obviously it wasn't just that that's been bothering me. But it's played a big part. I absolutely fucking HATE showing that I'm in pain. And No, I haven't been able to overcome it yet. So fuck off. 


But today however.... today turned out to be a damn fine day. 🍀 My first good day in a week.
And holy fuck, did I need a good day.

We picked up Freya early today, and then let her go to the park just like she had requested yesterday.
She got a drink, I got a coffee... cause we had to go to ica first. (See, Freya did a bad thing to one of her classmates, her friends isn't aware of it cause she had already left for the day. But the teacher told me what she did. But before I even had a chance to have a discusssion about it with Freyster and Frost, I overheard her telling Frost about it. She told him on her own what she had done, she showed that she felt ashamed of what she had done, and then she said she'd use her piggy bank money to buy a new one)
Obviously I let her believe that she used her own money, it's good for her character. But of course we paid for it... My little doodle. 💓

Naturally I was upset to hear what she had done it (it wasn't that big of a deal tbh, but it was the fact that she took something that wan't hers on purpose and then broke it) but the fact that she chose to tell Frost herself, and that she was completely honest on her own made us very proud. So we went to ICA, and bought her friend a new one, and I put a card on it and wrote an apology from Freyster and she'll get it tomorrow morning.
I mean, it wasn't a big thing she ruined, but it was something that she just took from someone else's shelf that someone put up there cause they wanted it safe, cause they had just gotten it today as a gift.😐 So wether it was cheap or expensive, brand new or old... doesn't matter, the whole point istaking things that doesn't belong to you is something we're very much against. And we had a good talk about it too.💗 We didn't have to say much either, since she had said most of it on her own. She knew she was wrong, she was sorry, she apologized. It's all good man.👍
But we decided to not get angry or show any signs of anger at all tbh, simply because I value honesty. And she showed that today. And that she felt sorry for doing it.

But anyway, after we'd been to the store, (I got myself a coffee from there too) we went to the park and Freyster found her friend, and they had a hoot haha
Me and frost sat down, and I chit chatted with her friends mom 💙

It's just been a really good day. An I definitely needed a good one. And Frost too.

Midsummer

Midsummer came and went.💗

Freya had a blast, and that's all that matters to me~

My brother dropped me and Frost off in Askersund, and then mom, Josse & Freya picked us up and we went to Åmmebergs midsummer celebrations (I don't really like that you have to pay entrance fee these days but oh well) It is an important place from my childhood after all haha

Freya was very excited.
She got to ride a pony, play in the jumping castle, look at the giant maypole, nibble on cotton candy (even though she preferred the ones in the bag that were pink and blue instead of the white fluff on a stick haha)
We got some candy rocks and nougats (that I couldn't eat cause they were way too sweet)
 and I bought a long sour candy strap for Josse too. haha I really liked being with Josefin. I want to go to Åmmebergs midsummer celebrations more times with her and the others again.
I bet Freya has had an awesome weekend now. She absolutely fucking loves being there with granny, Lasse & Josse (and Doris too haha)

The dinner was delicious, and the cake was brilliant. My sister made a meringue cake, with lots of whipped cream on it. And as a filling it had crushed raspberry pie (yep, a PIE!) and vanilla custard too. I gotta say, with the smooth whipped cream and meringue that melts in your mouth, it was kinda neat to feel some sweet crunchy pie crust and raspberries on the tongue too. Mmm..... such a mouthtastic experience lol 💛

Oh I also made a flower garland for Freya to wear as a midsummer crown ;D She was so beautiful. My sweet little snuggle monster. 💚💚💚 I kinda feel like I made an epic garland really lol
Freya is too cute though. I should've made garlands for everyone to wear too...

On saturday morning, Irena came to Zinkgruvan and picked me and Frost up. We had a nice drive back to town together too :)
And the plan was to party a bit with the Larssons in the evening. But since Nathalie's midsummer party with her family kinda went to the pooper too, we decided to just change the plans.

We had an awesome time yesterday really~
And we discovered that I make deeeelicious Mojitos. Seriously.

They tasted better than they did at the bar. 🍹  We drank, played Mario Kart, laughed and just had a good time. It was good for the soul. Yep. We needed it.
 Frost was more impressed over how entertained we can be with such small effort haha

Anyway.... Good times has been had.
My mother really gave Freya the best weekend 💜

It's been a nice weekend.

A lovelier monday

Morning sunshines

You know, it's my just any Friday today.

It's Punisher Friday! It start today actually. The entire season is out and we are so totally gonna binge watch the shit out of it. Woho! 😁

Yep yep. Obviously I'm caring enough to wait for Frost. Duh. Wouldn't watch it without him.

Anyhoooo...I'm about to play some cod WW2, and chill with Freyster. She's watching My little pony now and she's really into it.

I gotta admit I'm kinda watching it too from afar. I can't help it lol  (though it was definitely so much better in my time) But whatevs. Kids these days won't even know how amazing it was back then, compared to cartoons these days. True story bro.

Friends

So yesterday Moa and Little Arthur showed up :)

Gosh, such an adorable wee baby. I forgot how light they are haha

Freya loved little Arthur <3
Maybe they'll be best friends :3


Freya is in the summer house this weekend with granny and Lasse.
She's having a hoot. But I miss her like fucking crazy. That sweet smile of hers and her giggle <3

Apple picking

It's been quiet here on the blog for a while now. Sorry about that :3

Ah I have so many Russian readers, and american reader, That's nice. Hi~

So, it's been a busy week.

A few days ago we went to visit my cousin Carro on the countryside and her little baby Ella <3
Soooo cute. Gaah... I felt my ovaries go squueeezeeee when they saw her lol Such a cute baby.
And their house is amazing too. It's a pity she doesn't like apples when they have so many apple trees lol

And here's the thing, and this is taboo to talk about. But as a parent I know this all too well...
There are some ugly babies out there. Naturally a parent will think they're adorable tho<3
But like I said, some babies just ain't pretty. they've gotta grow into it. And it can take some time.
But Ella, wow...she was CUTE. Like supercute <3 Those little eyes and puffy cheeks! I can't wait to see what she'll look like when she's around 2 years old or something :)

 I remember Sofi said the same about Freya when she was a baby. 
Naturally I think she's the most beautiful little thing on the planet. Duh. But I've had people stop me with the stroller and tell me how adorable my child is, and that made me realize that she's not just cute in MY eyes, but others too. Snugglerump. 
So I hope Carro sees that Ella is beyond pretty :) 

But yeah... Ella was very sweet <3 Ca't wait to meet her again.


Anyhooo... the point of the visit wasn't JUST babysnuggles. We also picked apples!
And boy, did Freya have a blast... she had so much fun, just running around playing and eating apples. It was nice to see her so happy and excited. She was also very intrigued by little Ella. haha it was cute to watch. (ya'll should see Ella's hair. It's thicker than mine... :P  *envious* lol)

Made me think of siblings for the Freyster tbh.
We'll probably try to give Freya a sibling next year :)
Things are going so well for us right now. And if things continue on this way then yeah... a baby would fit right in! :D

I made a short video of all the apple picking and running around haha

August 20th

Today was a very important day.

Do you know what happened here 2 years ago?





Let me tell you.


















Our wonderful baby girl was born <3
Mommy & Daddy loves you more than you'll ever know sweetie.
Your'e our everything :) You seriously make us better people.
Happy birthday Freya-Rose.

She got The Sylvanian family (of Bunnies) from Nathalie, and I got her the squirrel <3
And she got an awesome beautiful mumin cup from Josse, hello kitty memory from Kurre, Fluffy pieces that you can build a castle with, or a tower etc.. from my brother & Anna. A  puzzle, learning laptop, toys, teddy bear and so on.

She had a great day, even though her dad had to work. She still got to spend it with people who cherish her. :)
All the people I like came and celebrated the one I love the most. It's a precious feeling :3







Here's a wee video I made :D

Eyeliners and coffee

Oooh how I want a coffee cup like this :D

It suits me so well lol

Someone's doing some serious reading too.

Upside down even. You know it's serious if the book is upside down hahaha

It's been a very slow and calm day. Thank god for that.
Freya had like the longest nap EVER but I didn't have the heart to wake her up.
I've played a lot of The Division today though while she slept. :) Ooohohohoho....
And tonight I'm hoping to play through the entire game of Resident Evil 5 within 5 hours. We've done it before so we should be able to do it now too. Got infinity ammo on a sniper riffle and a Magnum. Mwahaha... :D

Flowers, flowers everywhere

We picked a huge bouquet of flowers today :)
Just regular summer flowers, but they're really pretty.

I even put one (a tiny one) in Freya's room.

We've been busy these past two days. We (I lol) decided to switch rooms. Said and done.

hahaha she just wanted to be in the photo <3

Oh right, she sat with us when we picked flowers too, and I got the cutest pics of her.
I'm superproud.

this here is my favorite one :)