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Märak from Jokkmokk Sweden :)

She's ain't half bad.

Kinda cool seeing a Swede making bluegrass.





I was actually listening to this song, but just stumbled upon Märak :)

Bladiblaaah

Welp it's saturday.
I woke up in extreme fucking pain. Oh my lord it hurt... -.-
But if I'm a little brutal towards my own body then I can usually cure pain with pain lol So I tortured myself till it was too much to handle and now I'm kinda ok.

I need a strong person right now. Someone who can hug me and crack my bones. Nathalie can't, mom can't... I don't expect my sister to either haha My brohter is a broken man with a broken body so he can't hurt me even if he wanted to.

So..... I think I may have to go find my cousin.
I need a brutal hug that'll crack every bone in my body hahah

I have no idea why I'm so freakin' stiff today? Like a stick...
I'ma do my oh so few pushups that I can do lol and situps and squats and then I'm done with that for the day. And then it's cooking time! :D





Oh and don't get me wrong, you don't have to be sad or depressed to be in pain. I'm quite the jolly little asshole, happy and excited :)

Welp, I'll see who I can find today.
There's only one woman I know who's capable of hugging me till it hurts......... I wonder if I can get a hold of her today?

A guest!

Actually I'M the guest today :D haha
I went straight to Sofi's place after work. She made tacos. Who can say no really? lol

Om nom nom!

Well look who got treated to rhubarb pie by the cafeteria people at the old folks home!

Ooooom nom nom nom!
Hooray!!!

And here I was so hungry. It's like god chose to feed me. lol

Thursday

Welp, apparently I need to go to a job interview around 14:00.

Buy I'm not sure if I can take it. Te assistant at work seemed to have a problem with it. But we'll see. For me, it's only a temporary extra job. And when I say temporary, I mean TEMPORARY. Ain't no future in that line of work.

I'm sitting at work now... Trying to make time pass and so on... One of my patients ran away so... Yep. I suddenly found myself with a lot of time on my hands. Yay.

My art

Welp... I'm gathering quite an "art" collection these days. It's growing :)

Here's some of my favorite paintings and drawings that I've made.

The drawings in ink will one day be part of a bigger piece, they're just sketches for now. But I'm kinda excited anyway ^_^

My day

Welp, my day started off like shit. Obviously. I was very veeeeery bored.

And then my baby came and saved the day! Aaaws <3 He truly is perfect. I love him more than anything.

So now, I'm all happy and junk again.
Guess he was right. I miss the D. loooool I'm joking, joking. Haha

But I'm really happy :)

Alright. Shopping is next.
Oh and I'm watching "We're the Millers". It's funny as hell! Haha

odd

No idea why... but I don't feel "happy" today.
It's sort of like a downer day I guess. Maybe cause I'm bored...

Well, I'm going o the store now. And I'll need to walk the pigbear too. And then there's a place I gotta be right before 5.

Other than that......... this is a boring day.

So very boring.





I can't seem to even get out of bed though lol
I'm not tired or anything, but still.

Move, chunk of meat! MOVE!

Night owls

A bunch of dimwits all cooped up in the sofa watching Orange Is The New black. Yus!

Sometimes it's nice to be a crowd. Haha

It's hard, I know

Yep. All women knows this.

It's such a shame. lol

Joining the circus

Weeeeee!

Bread in the making. LCHF bread!

I made a triple batch today. Figured I might as well do that when I have the time for it. Nathalie loves bread so she'll eat it ^^

Josse is coming over here now. Robin is having a friend over and she didn't feel like staying apparently. I don't mind. I'm bored anyway so ^^

Here my recipe that I use. Unfortunately for you, it's in Swedish. But hey ho.. It's simple anyway :)

Bff's?

I've been playing Dead Rising 2 a while now. It's going better now that Frost helped me out lol

I can't say I slept much last night. Boo. But I did the dishes and cleaned and junk. So that's nice. I'ma vacuum as soon as I've walked lei lei...

But I juuuuuuuust wanna play this a lil' more....

I did the dishes too

Yay me.

I'm a good squirrel.

I still can't sleep though....

Some midnight cleaning

well, there was a slight change of plans tonight.  I'm not sleepy at all cause I had a nap earlier so I could stay awake tonight, and no one is awake at this hour. Plus..... I had some sugar... Just a little... And a ton of coffee... So I'm like on speed right now. ZOOM ZOOM And I suddenly found myself to be super bored...
But, me is clever... I've done some cleaning. Lots of it actually. But it only took like half an hour.. I'm still super awake... Sooooo I've taken bunches of sleeping pills so it'll knock me out. Yep. I mean, I don't feel like hanging out with anyone at the moment anyway... My bed is more appealing lol Sometimes it's nice being home alone.


I played some Xbox with baby though. He helped me out cause I couldn't overcome that level haha! He's such a good boyfriend <3 It was fun! I was so angry about the game earlier... Gosh.


Tomorrow is my only day off. And I'ma have to clean every little nook and cranny then cause big bro's coming home -_- No more peace. Hah.

And maybe I'll even bake some bread. Nom.

Well.. I feel dizzy now.


I wish I had a soft air gun... There's so many confused drunks outside tonight. I could pretend they're zombies and I'm a hero! YaY!


Night world!

lol a few thousand dollars old

I saw this beauty today while chit chatting with an old man. One of my favorite patients haha And I asked him how old this was. It looked like a very old fossil. And he said 'Lets just say it a few thousand dollars old haha!'

Well I see. lol

He said he ---->picked<----- not licked, it up around 1930 when we was in the Swedish navy. I don't remember where his ship was but I guess some place far away hahaha

Saturday

Gosh I'm warm right now. And I'm siting in a rocking chair ^_^ I like it. It's very soothing.

Anyway... Just wanted to say hi I guess. I should keep on working haha

Friday

So, I've worked one of those shitty shifts today. But I made chicken salad in my break, met Sofia. And then played some Dark Rising 2. Which I btw stopped playing cause I got so furious. -__- I got SO fucking angry. Grrr... Still am whenever I think about it haha

And now I'm at work again.

My baby can get his passport soon. It won't be long till he's here ^_^ YaY!

Nom noms

I made lowcarb bread today. Perfect for breakfast AND hamburgers :D yay! So fucking tasty too. I'm proud.

Just so you know...

These lyrics are a bit dumb.... BUT, the chorus, I DON'T CARE. I LOVE IT.

 


And that's how I feel. Things might be difficult, and there's ups and downs cause it's hard to make your dreams come true sometimes.

But I don't care. I love it :)
I'll marry my snuggletree one day <3




 You spin my head, right round right round when you go down, when you go down down. lol This one's more fitting than the original hahahaha

I'm heading out now. On new adventures!

Ciao!

The feeling of not being good enough

I had a really horrible nightmare...

I dreamt that I was somehow being stalked... But I didn't KNOW someone was watching me... And then it was a girl, who I knew in that dream. But not in reality... 

And she stabbed the fuck out of me. 

I woke up in panic and had to check my chest for wounds... 

I remember waking up in panic... My heart was pounding like crazy. I was actually scared for reals this time... It's been a while since I had a dream that honestly scared me. 

"Some dream meanings of being stabbed relate it to a feeling of inadequacy. You have not been up to par lately, or there is someone out there that you think is better than you. It is because of emotions and feelings like these that you may find yourself being stabbed in the dream world. This is just one possible dream interpretation for being stabbed though. 

Are you failing at what you want to succeed in? Maybe you're trying too hard, and the feeling of fail is overwhelming you. Are you subconsciously thinking that you aren't good enough? 

Are you scared of not succeeding?  "

"Try your best. Even if you fail, it doesn't mean that you're any less of a person. You are loved wether you win or fail. "

I quite enjoy reading dreams once in a while. This however... Didn't do shit for me. -_-

So fucking stupid. Of course I'm scared shitless of not succeeding since I can't find solutions.  Stupid.  I already knew that. 

Sometimes reading dreams can actually help you handle some thing. Like things you don't realize, things you fear and so on and so on. And even tell you if you getting ill. 

And sometimes it's just dicks and cheese. 

...

Today isn't one of my best days.
And I'm getting sick and tired of these shitty shifts I've been getting lately. They suck.

I'm thinking a lot.. I want a break and hide in my room for a weekend. I wanna be with Frost. I want to take a bath. And I want a beeebbeeeh! Haha

Aaah, pretty photo a coworker took of me when I was spacing out. She noticed that I wasn't even listening to her... Haha! It's ok. I was in a break lol

Yeeeeaaaah......

I've got a LOT of work ahead of me this week. Like wow...

And yes, I will be a sleepyhead that feeds only from coffee.

Stupid weather

I like it when it rains... I I'm inside. Under a blanket watching a movie or having coffee or whatever. Doing cosy nice stuff. Not working OUTSIDE. Getting soaked.

It's not raining YET... But the weather is so stupid. Tricking me into believe it's chilly so I wore my hoodie... And now it's so hot it feels like I'm melting. Yet too cold for just a shirt to wear. What the fuck does the weather gods want me to wear?! lol

Oh and I was so sleepy this morning... I actually overslept. Well it's overslept for me. I woke up around 5:30am instead of 5! Oh the horror. And I didn't manage to get up till 6... And then I had coffee and talked to Frost as usual.

But I was so dizzy when I got up that I almost slipped and fell. I wobbled to the coffee maker and stood there, staring... For a long time. lol

I took to sheepy pills last night. But I kinda realize now that I took them Too fucking late plus I increased my blood circulation right before that so everything affected me way too hard :3

Ah I told Frost this morning at work that I'll probably be really stressed and late and junk. (Cause the schedule was pure goat poop) but I somehow managed to finish then all super fast AND have time to go to the bathroom! Weeeeeeh oh the luxury. It's not everyday I get to go to the bathroom while working hahaha There's simply no time for it.

I'm still super sleepy though....... Zzz....

Snuggleball

I didn't really sleep at all last night. And I kinda look like walrus poop right now. If a walrus pooped on the street, it would look like me.
But I'm too lazy to bother with looks today.... Haha

I can tell that this day will probably be a good day though :)

Cause I started it with Frost <3
We talked for about an hour. He and Roger saw 'Mama'. Yep. Frost even admitted that it was a bit creepy indeed. WHICH IT WAS. Gah...

Anyway. I had my breakfast and my coffee... All that is left are pants and walking Lei Lei.


Today feels like a no clothes day, I don't wanna wear clothes. Boo. But hey ho... Can't leave the house without them lol

Enthusiastic and energetic

I'm feeling all pumped up with energy.

Could be all the giant amount of coffee I've had, or all the love I'm feeling. Or the fact the Lei Lei's sleepy face is adorable. 

Yesterday was a really good day. I worked, and then had the evening off so I made waffles and junk, and had sushi with Natta and hung out with my sister. Yep.

I stayed up all night with Nathalie and Josefin, it was so much fun.

We just sat outside looking at how the city is at night. Laughing and snorting. lol Yep. And I talked to my baby too! He seemed like he was enjoying himself which meant a lot to me. I even had a nice talk with his father :) I saw a picture of Frost and them that was taken last night and ya'll should see Frosts smile! SO ADORABLE! GOSH! <3 It almost gave me a heart attack from cuteness ahaha

Well anyway, moving on... it's friday now. And I have work later. I picked the late and short shift today cause I felt like that was enough for today :) Sometimes it's rather nice with shorter shifts. Especially when I start at 6pm :D haha So I decided that I'll be making some waffles again and then some salmon and cauliflower. It's great that Nathali loves these waffles :) They're super healthy and barely any carbs in them and no sugar. 

So...yeah.. that's what I'll do I think. Possibly some cleaning too. 

The next four days are gonna be rough though. 3 of them are 15 hour shifts........... eheh...

welp, I'd like to save up as much money as possible now cause I want to do all kinds of things with Frost when he comes here :D

Thursday right?

I'm about to make some waffles. Nathali just woke up and I bet she's hungry. And then later I'll go over to Stina and cuddle her baby. :D And her too of course. *squeeeze*

Well, before that I'll probably watch a horror movie. I was thinking of watching The Last Will And Testament Of Rosalind Leigh. Yep. Never heard of it before but figured, heeeey why not?

Seems scary enough.


So, it's all clear now. I've got my old job back. Woho!
But I'm not too sure how much I'll work there cause my other job (let's just call it job #1) they're being sneaky not wanting to share me with them so they're booking me EVERYDAY so there's no room for bricke hahahah Well, I can't complain. The beauty of job #1 is thar it's super near by. (Good for Lei Lei AND me, especially if I get called in the morning) The beauty of my old job is... well, that it's my old job! My old buddies :D My comfort zone, where I'm allowed to be as weird as I actually am and people just like me anyway :D YAAAAAAAY! I can be a freak again and not hold things in. Aaah... how wonderful.

You have no idea how much I have to keep inside me at job Number 1. I mean, my humor for one is AWESOME and very silly. I'm goofy. And I have to pretend to not be goofy there lol

But the beauty is that my boss over there is epic. Woop woop.

Alright, waffle time. Yum.

Oh right, my baby might come here real soon.

I can't wait!

we need to do some babymaking too. yay haha

*making a nasty weird humping dance*

Anyway, I'll take him here too. But not during the winter lol

Wednesday

Welp.. I went to my old job today and finished that work injury report. Finally. After two years.

And somehow, I left with my old job back too. lol So yay, I have my old job back! Can you believe it? Hahaha gosh, what a strange feeling.

I'll work extra hard. Yep.

And I met my old coworkers too. They were super happy :D

And now me, Nathalie and Josse are all cooped up in the sofa, watching Orange Is The New Black :)

Woop woop

Our future babe... it's coming :3

This has been a great day so far. You have no idea.

I'm so happy <3

Breaking bad live

Oooooooh I'm watching breaking bad LIVE right now. In the middle of the night with Frost <3

Gaaaah this is awesome.

My mom knows

Yep. My mother knows how to make me move haha you lure me with coffee and I'm there :)

Saturday

So.. The party is on. :)
I am, for now anyway, hiding in my room. With Lei Lei.

And a bow of nacho chips and peanut rings. Mmm... Yep.

And I'm watching Pride & Prejudice! :D Aaah it's the one with Kiera Nightly. (The best one actually)

Good day!

well good day my fellow readers. haha

I am feeling so many feelings right now. Overwhelmed by all the emotions and excitement. I has hope. Lots of it.

I had some coffee and cake with Mom and Lasse just now <3 as a Swede, I do love fika. haha We all do. Anyway.. we discussed stuff and junk..the future and so on. So I feel very confident and happy :)

I was home from that other job today as well. BUT, this morning...apparently my #1 job called and asked me to work tonight. In which I agreed. Without even KNOWING it. So when I woke up again I had no recollection of agreeing to that and just saw the text they sent where it said I was booked for the evening. Hello panic attack. And then I realized, Ooooooh~ I don't start till 3. hah, No worries then lol

So I'ma work this fine evening. And stay at home this weekend too. So I might as well work evening shifts then I suppose?

I miss my babe... a lot. He's so sweet :) Making my heart go bathump! And squeeeeeeze! <3 Rawr!

Woop woop I'm ready for work.

If mom says so

I'm the type of person that could commit murder if my mom said so. If my mom says that something is good, it's good. I know so.

So, I might have solved all issues in a blink of an eye.

I've been thinking a LOT.

I'm home from work today. Seems like my body simply doesn't WANT me to go to that place. Refusing more or less. Barfs everywhere weeeeeh! Haha Well, I cen't seem to stop throwing up. But it's not the stomach flu. I know that. it doesn't feel this way.

But I'm about to meet a friend now. So thats nice. :)
oh Free latte! Yay!

Night night world

I've had a very nice day!
And I talked to Frost for a nice long time too. I miss him so much today. <3

Now that I think about it..

I'm a pretty decent cook. Yep.

Västerbotten cheese covered salmon and a nice broccoli goo with cheese, cream and tomato purée and onions. It was really good actually. Yum. Nathalie liked it! :D

Tonight when I get home from work I'ma make waffles for her and also some dinner for her to eat tomorrow. :3 I'm nice. lol

Events

I just met the strangest patient today.

She is one of a kind. And she told me 'I wish that I could have ONLY you, coming here. I just want you. You're such a unique and beautiful creature. I can tell that you're very happy and so in love with your boyfriend. He gives you so much doesn't he? I can see that you are loved. Cause you're a person who's glowing. So much energy. I've never met anyone like you. If it's possible, can you come here instead of the others when you work?'

Wow. I've never been told this before just like that... She said she thought I was amazing after like 5 minutes.

And she was super sweet and she loves life even though she's not really living it. People like her are the amazing ones. Being grateful for what they have even if they can't move or do anything.

'I love life' is what she said.

Nectarines YUM

Oh so delicious. I do love nectarines and peaches haha :3

I got this from an old man yesterday. A patient mind you. Haha
I don't just take something from a stranger and eat it lol

Pretty damn tasty.
I wanna buy a whole bunch of em!

Monday

So it's Monday. I'm still hiding in my room watching this movie... Listening to the noise outside my room haha My brother is leaving for Norway soon. Yep.

Ah I was supposed to be free from work tomorrow but blah.. I ended up taking on an evening shift haha Oh well. I don't mind :)

Oh it seems to get spooky now in the movie. Oh shit.

Allu

Ya know... I feel like total shithead today. Gaaah... My head's fuzzy and my body aches. Boo.

No amount of coffee can fix it apparently.

But, I decided to cheer up a bit anyway (ya know.. Planning stuff and fantasizing about the future and junk.) And I guess an aching body ain't that bad.

Also, there's a fuckton that could be worse. Yep. I guess I should just enjoy the ride. Shut the fuck up and do my shit and just... Be me :D

Things happen for reason.

Even my aching fucking body lol

Oh BUT I did sleep 7 hours on my own. No pills or anything. Yay me. Sleep.

And now I'ma sip my coffee and watch this "horror" movie called The Conjuring. Hah.

Frizzball

I'm enjoying my break with a funny lady right now. I like her. She's amusing and very straightforward. Which makes it easy for me haha I can just e myself and she won't mind. It's kinda relaxing.

I left my group to go sit outside with her instead since I'd rather sit with someone I can have fun with. :)

Oh oh oh and I almost fucking forgot!!! STINA HAD A BABY LAST NIGHT! A girl! A baby girl! <3 raaaawr! *squeeeeeze* I'm really happy for her and Marcus.

Haha it's like the first thing I said to Frost early this morning. :) STINA HAD A BABY! Weeeeeeh!!

Nap

I just took a 15 minute nap at work, and aaaaah that was so nice.

Also laid in the massage chair for a wee bit too. It's a rare thing for me to have time over like this :D quite nice.

lol

I'm just sitting here, looking on gagpics, giggling in my loneliness haha

Nah, actually I'm waiting for my babe so we can talk <3

And I just talked to my big brother too.
He has an "affair" with a lady... But he likes her. So, he's going to talk to his girlfriend now about it. Well.... What can I say.

I hate cheating. And I told him that too.

Dinner

It's not everyday I get called wifey............
But yeah. I'm a pretty cosy person to live with haha!

I like to have a calm atmosphere at home. I always cook. And I never bother a soul.

I haz foods and lazy company to offer. lol

Nostalgia

haha I used to listen to this all the time as a kid.
Of course, to me..it was just about a BELL TOY. a toy!





My dad used to play this song haha

At Hachi

Me and Nathalie, and lei lei of course... Are at Hachi's right now. Waiting for sushi. Nom.

And I went to the baker and bough sour dough bread. He gave me a cookie ^_^ YaY! Jo likes free stuff lol

Been talking for a looooong time with Stina too. Yep. Off we go.