It amazes me how difficult it is for me to let go of some things... It so hard for me to stop thinking about all the shit I went through at my old job. It makes me weak. Makes me question myself from time to time.
All the lies they said about me...
The fact that I was an outcast since day one. People talking about me behind my back...
For an entire year I put up with this bullshit, thinking that if I stayed strong, did my work well and smiled everything would be ok in the end.
It didn't.
To be told that I'm hated by everyone. And that I didn't don't job right.
It affected me really bad...
And now I'm seriously terrified of having a net job, starting over.
Being new.
What if I'm hated again?
I have no references anymore.
It all vanished.
Three months ago I was popular with the boss. And now suddenly this? I don't understand...
I couldn't believe that anyone would be such and asshole telling such horrible lies.
I'm stupid.
And I feel like I can't trust people...
No one.
I'm afraid to work. Is that silly?
I lay awake at night thinking about this.
Will I ever be able to move on?
Stop worrying?
Can I ever stop thinking that I'm the problem? That it's my fault?
Do I have such a weird personality that I was hated from day one?
I ever tried to be the quiet type instead of my normal talkative me.
Nothing I did worked...
Welp... It's confusing, like that "translator". Haha
That's how much sense everything makes to me right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Leave a comment here, why don't ya?