So, this is a post I forgot to post basically. (I wrote it Monday but forgot to click post ahaha)
But I was actually at the hospital on Monday. We had a big meeting and it went surprisingly well. I was so terrified that the pain clinic would say that I'm too broken to be fixed or something. (well I can never be fixed lmao but you know what I mean.) that it'd be too complicated.
But they actually had a bunch of good ideas.
And as of now I'm starting swimming (for freeeeeeee) and I have a certain workout that I need to do (for freeeee)
It feels lame when I do it though, cause it's so fucking easy. But since I can't regulate my strength, the physiotherapist felt that using small movements in an easy way is better so I can learn to not use full strength and not lock my joints.
I'm hopeful anyway. In the water it ain't as easy to lock all my joints, so I should be able to just move around freely then.
I've also quit taking a certain medicine. The medicine itself actually worked ok on me... But unfortunately that shit made me gain weight like crazy so eventually I felt like it wasn't worth it. Sure I'd like to get free from my pain, but I also don't like being fat. It's not that I'm vain, I just wanna feel content about myself.
So I figured that this new shit I'm gonna do is gonna help.
After the 2 hour meeting (I always have long sessions there... Ugh) I went to see mom. And mom was actually released the day after. Yay!! Good stuff, good stuff. 💙
Welp, I've got such a schedule to keep now. Shit... But I'm hopeful.
Oh and on the same day we got incredibly awesome news. 🌸 Woho! I'll tell you all about it some other time though (no I'm not pregnant, Jesus...)
So, right after our lunch mom went to the ER... and then she was put in the ICU.
And now she back in the same place she was last time.
Mom's not doing too well...but she's responding really well to the antibiotics do that's good at least.
I just wish shit would work and that she'd get better.
My heart breaks when mom is suffering so much...
And with Halloween comes horrormovies. It's a must, that's just how it is.
But before I put up my "to watch list", I figured I'd post The New Mutans trailer for those who haven't seen it.
See, I love the mutans... and I love horror movies..so... imagine how thrilled I got when I saw this lol
I am so fucking tired......first of all I think I'm sick 😅
Well I suppose it was my turn anyway, since Freya is all good now.
I might as well move into the bathroom and make it my kingdom. Yep.
So...here's some deep thoughts for ya'll.
Me and Frost have been having very fun conversations tonight.
Mostly about artificial intelligence, androids and what ifs and so on.
How the future will be, how one day robots will have their own mind. And I still believe that when that day comes they'll be anything but peaceful. I mean, imagine how they (hypothetically) have been treated. Perverts buying robots looking like women so they can fuck them. Sure, now they claim it's for healthcare and for the robots to help us in our lives in the future... (but we all know how many pervs are gonna buy them to have as sex toys) But basically for a robots that's developed it's own mind, that would be like being raped and abused over and over. They'd get emotionally branded.
So in the future, they would retaliate and want their own lives just like in Blade Runner (I'm talking about the old one. Duh) I mean, there's already a rumour that there's been one robot that passed the turing test. So, imagine what happens in the future. Dun dun duuuuun.
So me and Frost discussed that what if they'll be capable of loving someone? Just like in Blade Runner? And humans, as vicious as they are (cause we humans are nasty. Most humans fear what they don't understand) they'd probably try to do just like they do in all robot movies, put them somewhere else, or "retire" them. Like I am Robot, or Blade Runner.
Cause seriously, the scene at the end...it's so beautiful when he says "like tears in the rain".. Gosh.
I'm not gonna go on about how I believe that he's actually a replica too, cause that's for others to debate about (since I already made up my mind)
Frost and I fucking loved Westworld. (now if you haven't watched it, you truly have missed out on something incredible) And the storyline is amazing. So let's just assume that that could happen in the future. I mean, of course it'll happen. It's just about when it'll happen.
Soooo, here's my battle list for the top 6 + 1 A.I. and robot characters to have in a war./fight/adventure
I'd pick Data(star trek) cause of his genius mind,
and Vision(from the avengers) cause he's very smart and strategic as the leaders. For the heavy combat:(I would pick Cell from Dragonball Z, but he's a fucking asshole...so...) I'd probably pick Agent Smith(from the Matrix) instead, cause he's smart and strong and adaptive. Amazing fighting techniques etc etc...
And Dolores (from wetworld, though not the nice Dolores, the darknone) Cause duh. Epic. She's badass. And to fight alongside me: Re-I (Ergo Proxy)cause her story is just...deep. 💛
And..... Walter(Alien Covenant) Cause he's just adorbs 💙 They both would make good friends.
And as the +1, I choose Susano (from Gigantic Formula) Cause I'm just nerdy, and I've always loved robots. haha
Freyas fever is too high and she's been throwing up. Threw up in the middle of the night, and just now all over me, the sofa and my phone. She hates throwing up.
She says her head hurts a lot too and that makes me feel uneasy.
See, most people probably wouldn't worry that much.
But I do.
Ever since I had meningitis that the doctors claimed could've been a virus that I got from the daycare. And that worries me...cause it's easy to miss meningitis on children.
I missed it so easily on myself so it makes me so worried that she'd have it.
I've always felt that it's a scary disease, ever since an old coworkers 5 year old daughter died from it. It took 24 hours and then she was gone. They didn't even notice it, she just got a fever and then poof...she was gone.
So this is what I carry inside my head whenever Freya gets a really high fever, and this time she says her head hurts.
it escalated quickly.
So don't blame me for worrying.
Freya didn't even get a chance to go outside today, the daycare called and told me that she had a really high fever and wouldn't stop crying. So of course I rushed over and picked her up.
She was scorching hot. And it seriously worries me cause it's 10pm right now and she's "asleep"... but her fever is still so high.
She was such a good girl though, and drank all her medicine even though it was nasty.
This little weasel is a whole bundle of things. She brings me so much happiness ❤
She's epic at driving me insane too of course lol It's the least you can expect from my daughter.
But she also makes me purr from joy when she smiles, when she hugs me and says she missed me. When she laughs and tries to pull a joke haha
She's hilarious when she says she's got an idea and holds her finger up. That idea is ALWAYS 'candy'.
She's very smart, so loved, kind and generous. She's loving and funny and stubborn too.
She's hard headed, sneaky and at times even a tiny bit spoiled.
But always generous and loving and kind.
She has a tendency to beat boys up, especially older boys who tease her or tease her friends.
I myself told her that I will always be proud if she's protecting someone. She can be very brave and feisty.
She is a lot of things. And she's worth more than every star in the sky.
And I love her more than there's fish in the sea.
Every day is a day when you should appreciate your loved ones.
And so, I appreciate Frost too cause he helped me obtain all this happiness. He's a handful too, they both are. But I wouldn't want it any other way. ❤ I love being with them.
Suuuure, sometimes I wouldn't mind some peace and quiet and sleeping in in the morning. But whatevs, there will be time for that later.
For some reason I always love hanging out with Frost. It's been 5 and a half years or so now, and I still love hanging out with him :) It doesn't get boring.
Been sipping on a giant cup of coffee (it's not giant enough tbh) I need more. So Frost will make some more. Yay me.
I was up late last night making a big lasagna. I made a huge one indeed, big and juicy and lots of layers. Lots of Parmesan in it too. Yum yum. God I was tired though, staying up so late cooking.
Woke up late too, and was almost late with Freya at her daycare. They were going to the woods today. And we almost missed it 😅 But when we did show up, she didn't have mittens nor a hat 😐 Damn it. Not that her hats and mittens fit her anymore, and she never wants to wear them anyway. It's still the point of it all that matters. Kids should wear gloves and hat. Period.
But I was so stressed out..
Luckily today turned out to be a rather warm day. Phew. In the end I did give her a hat, but like I said...she has a tendency to throw them away -_- She better not to.
Oh, talking about that, Lasse dropped by just a while ago and left an adorable hat and gloves and some mittens for Freya. Supercute really. She's gonna love it. And she'll definitely wear them when she hears that they're from Lasse and grandma. He bought them on his lunch break, very very sweet of him. So when he said he had to hurry in order to be able to make something to eat before his break was over, I figured a giant piece of my delicious lasagna would do the work. YAY. Win win.
He didn't have to hurry like a maniac, and Freya got some nice mittens and a hat.
I've pretty much spent the day at the hospital. I had a meeting there around noon, and then I spent the rest of the time with mom. Still don't know when she'll come home.
Went on a drive with Josse as well. it...took longer than expected. 😅 ehehehe...
My body is seriously exhausted 😨
But I've had a pleasant evening, me and Frost are snoozing off in front of the tv.
But to be honest, I just wanna go to bed 😅
Life is certainly boring without a phone.
Freya threw y phone on the floor with all her might AGAIN the other day.
Needless to say, the screen is completely shattered. Yep. The glass had already been shattered a little before when she threw it before you know? But this time...yeah... I knew my phone couldn't handle another blow like that -_- It is completely shattered.
Damn it. I counted the cracks in it just for fun (it wasn't fun at all actually, I felt like crying lmao) I counted up to 42 cracks, and then I lost count and got depressed and didn't wanna count it again.
So.......it'll be quite a while before I buy a new phone. I'll tell you that.
I seriously can't afford one at the moment..
I'll be visiting mom later today :)
It is indeed boring to be hospitalized so I'll try to at least let her have some company even if it's just for a short bit. 💙
And here's a hug for all of you out there, especially to you who might be having a rough time :)
Hugs for everyone!
Woho! The surgery was a success!! Yay! I'm so happy!
I got so happy when I heard the news that I fell asleep lol I could barely sleep anything at all last night. So I tried to take a nap today but it just didn't work. Until Lasse sent a text saying that she was finally in postop and had just woken up. And that the surgery was a success!
My god, I can't even tell you relieved I am right now.
In about 7 hours or so, mom is having her surgery. She's hospitalized, and will continue to be that after that surgery as well. I've been trying real hard to keep calm about this too so mom won't be too worried.
Cause she worries a lot, and she gets nervous easily about this too. So you gotta keep the lady calm if you know what I mean? lol 😂😂😂
I'm sure it'll be fine though. I mean, naturally I'm worried. Duh. Even though I know the doctors are amazing at these things.
It's a tricky surgery... mom even made notes that are up all around her apartment on things. Made a will and all that shit too. Silly dork. She'll be fine, so there's no need for those things. But like I said, she's a worrywart.
I hope I can visit her after the op tomorrow. (but she might be sleeping longer than I'm assuming, or she might just be feeling too sick for it.) I'll try to visit everyday, if she can handle company that is. If I hurt too much then fuck it. I'm still going 💙 I'm gonna drag Josse with me too obviously :D YAY!
Mom doesn't want me to bring Freya there if she's covered in tubes and shit, and I can respect that. I'll just install skype on her iPAD in that case, so they can skype together. Smart huh?
Yeah supersmart. Where was this cleverness when I had meningitis and was fucking hospitalized for 5 days?? hmm?! I was SO god damn bored then. I even went home way too soon, begged my doctors to let me go home early cause it was soooooooooooo boring there 😣 (yeah I realized soon after that that it was a mistake. I was so sick and weak back then..) But mom will be hospitalized for quite a bit now so I know how boring it is...I know she'll get bored.
So I told her to watch Outlander 😃 Cause duh. It's amazeballs haha
Anyway... I'm gonna try to sleep soon. I've got way too many thoughts in my head but I'm hoping that I'll still fall asleep soon enough. Yep yep.
Good luck tomorrow mom 💛 Things will go great, cause your'e strong AF.
I wonder if you know how loved you are by all of us? I hope you know.
Damn, I might actually be a little spoiled, cause things like these makes you realize how much your mother does for you. And how much you rely on your mom. Shit, I AM a wee bit spoiled lmao
You do spoil all your kids mom 😆
So today I got a fun phonecall, and a surprise visit.
I'm not a superfan of surprisevisits, but this kind me gustas.
We went out for lunch (which kinda failed lmao) and then out for some fun in the parks.
We went to the small park first by request 😃
I was fun to see the kids so happy 💛
And as always I loved being with my old friend 💜
So all in all, it's been a good day. And me and Frost had a nice evening after that so I'd say this day was a success. Yup yup.
Apart from an allergic reaction lol Other than that, me and Frost enjoyed the evening.
