Game Of Thrones

Well holy fuckballs... 

We just watched the latest episode of Game Of Thrones. 😱

And omg. 😬

Without spoiling anything... I did NOT see that coming. The ending... Sweet baby Jesus.

Like, we had to rewind it twice just to see that scene again, cause it was so incredible. 😮😮😮

This episode.... Was just... Massive. It was amazing and gory and insane and awesome and devastating and all that shit. 

Holy fuck.

What a great way to start a Monday.

👌🏻

We're gonna have to rewatch the whole episode later again, just cause. 

Toots

 Alright, Freyster got sooo excited over her little gifts earlier. 💛
Aaaaw, that made me happy haha

well, Stina is calling me right now. Gotta go!

Fucking shard

So... the entire time I was walking with Josse in the mall today, I had a strange shooting pain in my foot... I ignored it and kept on going with her. Cause I was having so much fun just doodling around with her at the mall. (I bought awesome panties 3 for the price of 2  btw👌 haha) I mean, those panties are awesome fyi. Such a great deal. So pretty and comfy *super satisfied and happy face*
I also bought real cute sunglasses and two flower hair clips for Freya 😍 Such a bargain so I couldn't not buy it ya know?

But then it kept feeling worse in my foot... and while we stood in line at the work agency it just bothered the fuck out of me. So the walk home wasn't very pleasant.

So after my brother had left, I sat down on the bed and took a good look at my foot. And I caught a glimpse of something shiny there for a moment.
So Frost had to go get the suuuuper sharp tweezers, and he had to stand there and use his flash light on the phone on my foot.
 And because of that I could occasionally see something sparkly. 😬
,
Yep... I realized I had a fucking glass shard in my foot.😨 And whenever I tried to get it out, it hurt like a motherfucker. And then I accidentally crushed some of the glass too when I used too much force.. it turned into teeny tiny glass shards instead 😬😬😬😬 Ooops....

And it hurt so bad to dig that piece of glass out, and I couldn't get the smaller shards out so, here we are.

But despite all that, it's still been a nice day so far.
Yes I has a booboo haha But I'm happy. Seriously, isn't this a nice friday?
I walked by the castle with frost earlier too... slow as fuck of course. Just to be safe.
Not that it takes much to rip the kneecap off these days 😑

Ok, now I'm gonna get a massage from my man 💙

friday

I'm about to head out with Josse right now. It's a fucking warm day though.... no one likes a warm day like this. (I say that, but the truth is most do huh?) Guess it's just me, my sister and Marty and Natta maybe, that prefers a cold dungeon? 💬

Anyhooo.... I probably should'nt, so I'll avoid it best I can. But what if something pretty throws itself in my face and I just can't resist it today?

What if I come home having bought a bunch of new clothes or chockers or earrings?
Oh no no no no... can't do that nope.

Ah, after the mall with Josse, I'm going with Frost to the dentist. And that's just a short visit (it's only for like 5 minutes) after that we have an appointment at the work agency. Bleeeeh.....

First good day in a while again

Well you know, these days come and go lol
But I oh so do appreciate a good day :D
And today's been sweet AF.

Like, last week... I had like two amazing days with Frost. And one of the days we went and had a date in town and shit. *Fuck yeah* And then snuggles and fun with Freya when we came home. Those days were just perfect you know? I like the other days of my life too, but the days I'm given where the pain levels are lower, and I even have emergy.... yeah those are the best days usually lol

And then I think the day after.... my knee got dislocated again. But not the same way it had been the week before....as per usual it immediately hopped into place again, but the pain and shock I went through... now that was different. The pain was extreme, and unexpected too. Cause I've sort or already gotten used to getting my knee dislocated. I'm used to the pain, so normal people would scream when that happens.... I'm mostly quiet about it..But this time, I screamed like I freakin' belonged in an asylum or something. The pain was fucking weird and unreal. I KNEW I fucked something up big time then.
And then I continued to cry hysterically for half an hour or so....

I didn't cry cause I was hurting though. I cried cause right then I felt that.. Fuck, I had one good day. ONE. And then everything came crumbling down again. FAST. Everything got drowned in pain and agony....again.
It just got dislocated again without me actually even moving. So I cried out of frustration.... later that evening my brother came to visit too. But I was kinda like in a apathetic state, so eventually Frost went outside with him and they smoked. I remember that Daniel tried to talk to me. But I wasn't really... I dunno, I wasn't really listening at first I guess. And then I realized after a while that I looked like a racoon. My eyeliner and mascara had been smeared all over the place from crying so hard 😑 And frost had ordered me a sallad, so he tried to make me eat (it was my absolute favorite food so..)
I tried to talk to Daniel I think? Or maybe I didn't.... I actually don't remember most of that evening.
I remember asking him not to tell anyone. Cause the last thing I needed was another one asking me if I was ok. I reeeeaaaallyy didn't want to talk about it anymore. No need to make me sound more pitiful than I already do 😬😬😬 Fuck that.


But the day after I was walking again so... progressing fast in a way, progressing bad too.

The only difference is that ever since thursday, I've noticed that my knee actually comes off completely every other step I take. Like it actually comes loose. And it's scary and gross. And I know that if I don't pay 100% focus on it... it's gonna get dislocated for reals.
So, I decided then and there to accept the offer, to do the knee surgery.

I wanna wait till winter, since the infections risks are smaller then. And I'm more prone to get infections and shit... But these are thoughts that I've been struggling with since friday last week.
I've been feeling depressed and really lost and alone.

My brother and Frost have both been very supporting though... both kept encouraging me all week. And Frost's been trying to cheer me up a lot. It's just hard to feel happy when your'e sitting there wondering how your body is gonna work, if it's even gonna be of use to you. Or if it's just going to be in the way. Obviously it wasn't just that that's been bothering me. But it's played a big part. I absolutely fucking HATE showing that I'm in pain. And No, I haven't been able to overcome it yet. So fuck off. 


But today however.... today turned out to be a damn fine day. 🍀 My first good day in a week.
And holy fuck, did I need a good day.

We picked up Freya early today, and then let her go to the park just like she had requested yesterday.
She got a drink, I got a coffee... cause we had to go to ica first. (See, Freya did a bad thing to one of her classmates, her friends isn't aware of it cause she had already left for the day. But the teacher told me what she did. But before I even had a chance to have a discusssion about it with Freyster and Frost, I overheard her telling Frost about it. She told him on her own what she had done, she showed that she felt ashamed of what she had done, and then she said she'd use her piggy bank money to buy a new one)
Obviously I let her believe that she used her own money, it's good for her character. But of course we paid for it... My little doodle. 💓

Naturally I was upset to hear what she had done it (it wasn't that big of a deal tbh, but it was the fact that she took something that wan't hers on purpose and then broke it) but the fact that she chose to tell Frost herself, and that she was completely honest on her own made us very proud. So we went to ICA, and bought her friend a new one, and I put a card on it and wrote an apology from Freyster and she'll get it tomorrow morning.
I mean, it wasn't a big thing she ruined, but it was something that she just took from someone else's shelf that someone put up there cause they wanted it safe, cause they had just gotten it today as a gift.😐 So wether it was cheap or expensive, brand new or old... doesn't matter, the whole point istaking things that doesn't belong to you is something we're very much against. And we had a good talk about it too.💗 We didn't have to say much either, since she had said most of it on her own. She knew she was wrong, she was sorry, she apologized. It's all good man.👍
But we decided to not get angry or show any signs of anger at all tbh, simply because I value honesty. And she showed that today. And that she felt sorry for doing it.

But anyway, after we'd been to the store, (I got myself a coffee from there too) we went to the park and Freyster found her friend, and they had a hoot haha
Me and frost sat down, and I chit chatted with her friends mom 💙

It's just been a really good day. An I definitely needed a good one. And Frost too.

April 24th : Mom's birthday

Yesterday was mom's birthday. 🎉🎈🎊
My brother and I got her a lemon tree 🍋 and a limited edition Body Mist from Rituals 💗
I hope she liked it. 'Cause I really thought hard about it.💭

'Cause I heard about a month ago or so that she wanted a lemon tree, but then Josse told Daniel that she didn't want it anymore, which made me panic 'cause that's what we wanted to buy. But then she eventually told me that she still wanted it, she just said no to it 'cause it was too expensive. And so, I felt much better about it.

And while I spent some time on google to find something from Rituals, my brother sat down at Soleo bar and had coffee ☕ haha So he sat there chillin' while I picked out the perfect gift lol

I didn't manage to take any pictures at moms place really. I forgot I brought it with me til Freya asked me to take a picture of her eating strawberries haha

But I really do hope mom liked her gifts.
The reason I went with a body mist was 'cause, if you've ever been in her bathroom... you'd know that she has like 10 different shampoos, and 8 different showers creams and soaps..... So I didn't really feel like adding to it. 👀 But I still wanted it to be from Rituals. And when I was looking around, I realized... Mom doesn't own a Body Mist. 💁
Body Mists are good, and leaves you with a fresh feeling really, plus it's better for the skin than perfumes during the summer.
So instead of adding to her shampoo and soap collecting, I started a new one haha

After the party, Freya and I was gonna ride mybike home 'cause she was soooooo sleepy.💤 But then Daniel asked if she wanted to hear how his motorcycle wroomed... aaaaand of course she wanted that 😒 So off we went to the garage. She's always wanted to go there, cause she wants to see what daddy's been working on with Daniel. So she actually got to see the engine on the car too.

Look at how proud she is haha (FYI, I actually remembered where all the parts on the engine was woooh)

And when he was gonna start the bike, even though she covered her ears... her reaction was just as I expected it to be lol Poor weasel haha

I hope mom had a good day.

Blah

Soooo.... today I've just been reading a bunch of useless shit.
Though I did come across a comic that seemed pretty nice. Not that many chapters out yet though so....that sucks. It's a posapocalyptic comic, where mankind's basically been wipedout almost on earth due to WWIII.
But this is about a little 10 year old girl that's being raised by 2 androids.
It's seriously pretty dang good tbh. Not too brutal, pretty realistic and with a tiny smidge of cuteness in it. (one of the androids reminded me of Baymax lol)

And theeeeeen me and Frost watched Into The Badlands (which btw, I fucking love now more than ever) 

I mean, I've always loved that show. Cause Daniel Wu is fucking amazing in it. And the martial arts are amazeballs deluxe. And the story.... duuuuude. And the intro is just my groove ya know?

We had to watch last weeks episode too, (well..Frost had to REwatch it cause aparently I must've been aspeel through it all cause I didn't remember shit. Oh well) It was SO good.

Breaks my heart that the show got cancelled. So they had to wrap it all up in the final season.... so far they're doing a bang up job so I'm good :D
And then after that my brother showed up and gave me some love haha 💗


Well, Freyster is in bed right now, Frost is reading her a story. And I'm listening to music.
Got a stupid song I can't get out of my head. It's just too good.

Sickbay

So... it's Monday.

And everyone's sickly here. Some more than others.
Not entirely sure what's wrong with Freyster, but yesterday she woke up with her eyes swollen, hurting, fever, swollen throat and mucus. She coughs a lot. But her eyes and throat hurts the most.
She's tired and red around the eyes. My little weasel....💖

Me, I'm fairly certain I've got a stomachflu. But who can be sure when your period is right around the corner? 😑


I started sketching up some shit the other day. Which was nice.
When I feel better, I'mma slap some paint on it. Yup.

Easter

Well, Easter's eve was a good one for Freya.
She had fun.

I mean, so did I uptil the afternoon or so.
But Freyster had a hoot, so I'm good.

The day started with her finding out that The Easterbunny had been outside, so obviously she had to go see if he had hidden any eggs ;)

Ah, and turns out he did. Cool huh? Supercool. haha She was extatic. ahaha

After that, it was time to get ready... cause her friend had invited her to Megafun for her birthday party. So off we went. Frost came with me cause it's not like I'm.... agile these days is it? lol It's alright... I'm as agile as a refrigirator really, but as flexible as a cobra. Fucked up mix right?

So I stood for the social part. hah.

But I spent the time talking to Freyas best friends dad. After an hour or so of talking, he admits that he's shy as fuck and a severe introvert. And I'm like... REALLY? O__O

I look over at Frost, and then look back at the dude. 

I seem to find introverts everywhere. haha

Anyhoo.... Freya had a hoot.

And that's all there is to say about Easter.

Date time

Ok, so as I was saying in the previous post.... yesterday, was fucking awesome.

Also, it's always a nice feeling when you manage to get that wing sharp enough to cut the heart of out the devil lmao

But that's besides the point... The DAY was good.

Well most humans take their days for granted. I, however appreciate all the small things and moments.
For me it's the small simple things that determine my day and my life. it's the root of my happiness.

I apreciate them an extra lot cause those are what truly matters in the end, and I learned to appreciate those even long before I got diagnosed with EDS. Frost always said that he thought it was nice how I could just suddenly look at a tree and start talking about how pretty it was and how beautiful I thought it looked in a certain light. Or how I'd MAKE him look at all the pretty things in life.
My day can go from bad to good just by going to the park and looking at something that pleases me. And yesterday, this made my day.

A simple date, lunch together and looking at people walking in their little bubbles was nice.

Finally being able to leave the house for reals for the first time in quite a while. No crutches needed. I had Frost anyway so... Another thing that made me so fucking happy was how Frost expressed how much fun he had, how happy he was. Seeing him happy is really satisfying for me :)

Not only did we have fun, but it was kinda nostalgic too. And he was the sweetest little doodle all day.
Never in my life have a met a person that tries so hard to make his love really show.
But we had a simple good time. Something I really needed considering how shitty life has been lately.
So when I have those small moments, life isn't as crappy anymore.


Plus Freya and I had a really nice evening yesterday, perfect considering Frost and I had such a lovely time togeht during the day. So Freya and I cuddled, watched shows and she was so happy and excited, and so grateful for the treat I got her. So that's basically like any other evening right? Spending time with your kid. Except I choose to look at them as unique moments. Frost was working on the engine in the garage all evening so Freya really liked it when I said we'd have a mommy-Freya time.

Plus, that weasel really loves strawberries haha

fun times

So, yesterday was an amazing day!

Aaaaand I'll tell you more about it ibn a sec.
For now, I gotta fix some shit haha But anyway, yeah...yesterdy was awesome.

Learning

Well, when your man is a fucking mechanic, and your brother wishes he was.... what do you do?

You join them 😀

So now I've memorized where the generator, manifol, radiator, cambelt, airfilter, fuel injecter, break oil, engine haul, generator belt, oil, distributor and where you put the antifreeze and water lmao

Seriously. I just pointed out these things on the picture to Frost. I learn all this the other night.

I was helping Daniel with the engine..... until Wille started projectile vomiting haha

And then I realized that Ooooh fuck, I do that too if I'm near someone that vomits 😅

And that was that.

Today, Frost is teaching me how to change the belt. Ah fuck, I forgot if it was the cambelt or the generator belt? Well it's either one of those anyway. Cause my brother's car only has two belts.

Other cars can have three, four...etc. But my brothers car is a stupid car that unfortunately is his baby too. And it breaks down all the time. And so, Frost has to fix it.

Seriously though, the other day it broke down when we had been driving around me and my brother.... and we were just left standing there on the side of the road. The only one that could help was actually Marika. Thank God for that lovely asshole 💕 hahaha And I realized that we've been friends for 26 years now. Daaaaaaamn. How old are we? Geez...

Anyhoo... my brother was devastated over the fact that he simply couldn't start his car. He worked on it aaaaaall night, slept in the car, and then the next day Frost went to help him instead.

And as soon as Frost could do whatever he wanted to it, he got it running within a minute or two.

So yeah, I had a very happy brother. 🙌

But what made me happy was to see how happy Frost was. He had fun fixing it... I think he needed to fix something, get the confidence boost that his boss ruined for him. Frost didn't work on  machines, he worked on assembling shit instead. And I think THIS is better for him. he should do what I loves.

So now we're gonna find Frost a mechanic job if possible. Cause why not work with what you like and do best? That's what I'd do if I had those skills anyway. Plus his boss said that he's never met anyone with the kind of skills Frost has. So good refferences is awesome.

I'm learning about engines now cause I'm bored AF first of all. It's boring being on sickleave. 

I mean, I know my EDS would't allow me to be a mechanic, but that doesn't mean I can't become one for fun :D

I've been craving to learn something new.

Though, I already new some about engines from before, Frost taught me how to change the breaks in Alabama all by myself for instance. So I think this can be fun.

Frost is obviously excited about teaching me.... but Daniel... oh boy, he is even more excited.

So now I feel like their little apprentice or something. hahaha My brother is glowing with joy.

And I can see it on Frosts face, all the lovey-couple shit he wants to do now hahahahahahah

4 years ago

Facebook reminded me that I took this photo 4 years ago today. 

Ouch. 

Fucking hell how I miss this creature .

I miss my LeiLei so much. I miss having that best friend that's always there for you. Always. Who loves you unconditionally. Supports you, who gets so excited just to be with you. 

Frost and Freya do get very excited when I get home though haha  Aaaand Frost is my biggest support and my pillar. 

But leilei was just... Unique. You can't compare her to a husband or your child. 

A friend of mine said that I'd get over it quick, that it was scary how fast she got over not having her dog anymore. 

But somehow that just never happened for me. It still feels like I'll never get over loosing her... ever.

And I'll never get another dog either.

Cause no one can compare to that magnificent shitpuff.

Anyway... Yep. That's what's on my mind today anyway. 

Bad luck

I think we're just prone to bad luck really...👎 Despite us being in love and happy together, it's like bad luck follows. (and yes, my health is what it is due to EDS, not bad luck....I know that. but bear with me here)

See, last week, my knee got dislocated once again, and yeah...it fucking hurt.
I did however get to meet an awesome doctor who was pretty cool. I liked him and he showed me my x-rays and told me things that I didn't know. (always something positive in all that bad shit going on right?)

And on friday, Frost had to pull out a broken tooth. And that shit turned ugly pretty fast.
The extraction in general didn't quite go as planned I suppose...
And then it got infected, stopped healing, he got dry socket... and apparently dry socket hurts like a motherfucker. And so he's been at the denstist office almost everyday since friday. Well, he wasn't there on saturday but all the other days he was there.😩

But today they finally decided to just stitch that shit up, as it wasn't healing like it's supposed to.
Maybe now he can finally get better and heal? One can hope right? They should've just fucking stitched that shit up as soon as they noticed that it just wasn't healing at all really, if you ask me -_-
He's been hurting so bad... and usually he's the one that has to watch me in pain, not the other way around. So I guess I know how he feels now, it ain't very nice.

Freya on the other hand has been thriving. I mean, she's just an amazing kid with such a wonderful wild personality. So she has been the main reason the mood in the house has been so good. She's kept us happy haha

 Plus she's been learning how to ride her bike, and skate, and we've doodled out back which I'll show y'all later...


We started reading The Hobbit to her at night now too (We've both read it before, and it is actually a pretty child safe book tbh) plus she gets to expand her vocabulary. I'm also reading The Borrowers to her, my old book that I got on my 10th birthday haha 💜
Plus the old classic Grimm tales (but I chose to have those in Swedish, the same with John Bauers book. It HAS to be in swedish)

I'm planning on buying the Treasure island and the real Jungle Book, plus maybe Tarzan and Jules Vernes best creations. I've got soooo many book ideas that I've been planning since her birth basically haha
And our little family library is slowly but steadily expanding.
(yeah, I know you can see some of my manga and anime but whatevs, just ignore that)
Eventually I wanna buy a big beautiful bookshelf, and old one. :)

I'm particularly excited about reading American Gods 💗