work

I was supposed to have the day of but nooooo...
Of course I'll help if they need help like this at work. I mean, this is not a normal workday/evening. I have to sit at a wake. Just me.. alone, with a dying man. That I've never met before. That speaks no swedish... and...well, either way it's uncomfortable. Sitting at a wake isn't something anyone can do.

I've done this many times. and no one's ever died when I watched over them... the meaning of the "wake" is so watch over them as they are dying. So they wont die alone, so they'll feel comfrotable, calm, safe.... that's why we usually have someone that they know that will watch over them for their last hours. But sometimes, it can't be done. So I'm here now. But we want them to feel safe and calm, and happy if possible...that's all we wish for them. For them to go in peace. So we watch over them so they wont leave this earth all alone in a bed... we'll be there and talk to them, feed them and help them on the way.

Like I said, no one's ever died on my watch...so I hope to keep it that way. it's not a matter of if I can handle it or not, it's a matter of procedures, feelings, their family, the doctor, a lot of resposibility and a lot of things to do when they die. Informing everyone etc... and also, it's a matter of HOW they die. This is the biggest issue for me.  I'd like for everyone to die peacefully...but we can't all die in peace I guess. I have no problem handeling the dead. Dead bodies are not something I'm scared of. But the way they go... That's what I'm scared of. I wish everyone could just fall asleep peacefully and wake up in heaven. Or something... *naive* I wish for everones last hours to be calm, painless and relaxed.... that's all I want. And we do try to make that happen. We have really good nurses that give people morphine and other medication so ease peoples pain... It's a good thing that we have good nurses at our work. :)


well, I'll probably upload another post later.
I'm gonna go catch my ride!