Freya's jewelry box 💜

She's reached the age where it's very interesting with nice jewelry and sparkly things haha

So the jewelry box she got from Lasse and mom last year is perfect now. It was VERY interesting I tell you haha

And she got to pick out what she wanted to wear too, she picked the sparkly unicorn. :) Aaaws. My princess!

And she walked around super proud of it too. Hahah adorable.

Off to another topic. This day. Gah. At first it was a shitstorm just raining over me. A was not a happy A today cause someone she loves called in sick. And she was supposed to work. So I had to stay longer and we couldn't find anyone to come! And I couldn't stay very long cause I had to be home by ten cause I had be at the clinic with Frost at 10:45. -.- It stressed the shit out of me and once I was finally home I was literally completely exhausted. Totally broken down and after I dropped Freya off at the daycare I started crying out loud cause I felt like a bad mom. I barely had a chance to say hello to her cause of the damn time pressure. -.-

In the end we actually made it in time. I didn't have to translate that much cause the doc was actually decent in English for once. :) It felt like we really had a breakthrough for Frost. Now he's finally able to take a step in the right direction. Phew. I hate it when someone I love is suffering. Gosh.

And the daycare was so nice. They wanted me to rest for as long as possible today and after I picked Freya up we snuggled and played like aaaaall day. And in the evening Nathalie came over for coffee.

So. This has been my day. Blah. Just blah.

In the end, it's still been a good day. Freya and Frost always make the rough days better <3

Easter decorations

I totally forgot to show you how we (read me me me me) decorated the house for Easter :D

You know me. I go all out when it comes to traditions and decorating hahaha And this year I even decorated less than I usually do, due to work basically.

Duckies!

It's been a nice day.
Freya ate like the biggest breakfast ever this morning hahaha
Side dish: dried fruit :) She ate a whole bowl of caramel protein pudding and whipped cream plus her little dried fruit. Yum yum in her tum tum. :)




We decided to take Freya and go feed the ducks :) Brought some biscuits and shit and fed them. Freya loved it :D haha (yeah I did too ehehe~) But it's been a nice calm day. Apart from Freya hitting her lip in the edge of the couch it's been a good day -_-

It's been some really nice days off of work, and I really needed that.
I've had a lot of fun and rest :D Plus I loved being home with Freyster & Frost <3

Oh and omg The Walking Dead.... jeez. The next episode is gonna be fucking craaaaaaaazy! And did Daryl die?! It can't be. Naah.... OMG WHAT IF HE REALLY DIED?! wtf?!

The whole Easter

Happy Easter (it's a bit late maybe haha) SO I've got a very long post for you here.
There's mostly pictures.... but you know I'm such a good writer that it's best to read everything I write in case I write something amazing. And you don't wanna miss anything amazing right? haha

So easter's almost over (today's the last day) and it's been a great easter. Just like I had hoped. :D
Freya loved her easter egg, and we loved watching her eat from it haha She was so adorable, I don't think I've ever seen her as adorable as she's been this weekend. Yep. My daughter hit the record in cuteness lol
And later on Easter's eve we went to mom's place for a big family Easter Dinner just like always <3 It was really good. Frost liked the steak and potato gratin A LOT hahaha

 Freya's tasty and healthy Easter egg.

(dried blueberries, rawbites, puffits, dried pineapple, dried mango, and pieces of white chocolate with dried raspberries on it. Very yum.)

And then came sunday:

It was a nice morning, Sun shining and Freya snuggled up against us in bed. <3 She then proceeded with jumping down in the clean laundry bag haha

I figured we'd do something nice. So we went to Espresso House and had a cappuccino and a frappe to go. Frost got a Frapino cookies and cream, and I swear... I've never seen him enjoy a coffee drink as much as he did there haha

Espresso House really is a nice place. I wonder why I haven't been there?

Their coffee was delicious!

And look at my super-cool daughter haha

She got sunglasses in her easter egg from granma and(dried blueberries, rawbites, puffits, dried pineapple, dried mango, and pieces of white chocolate with dried raspberries on it. Very yum.)

 granpa <3

(see, we chose to only give healthy treats in her egg since she loves them. And/or a toy or something coo like that) Why introduce her so early to candy? She'll end up fat and unhealthy like me. Why not give her treats she absolutely loves! :)

So I guess that was all about the Easter :)

It's been fun!

In the middle of the night

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A great day

It's been such a good day :)
I woke up in excruciating pain... And it did take a while before my body agreed to move with me lol
But we had a lot of morning cuddles. Me, Freya & Frost. They were awesome.

We went to town and had breakfast after Freya was dropped off at daycare. They had "Easter fun" there today, and I didn't want my doodle to miss out on all that fun shit. :3 She walked happily all the way to daycare too. Even pushed the button at the crossover by the road haha

Aaaaand well, I got carried away in town. I mean. I found the cutest of all the cutest outfits today. And so I had to buy it. :/ BUT IT'S SO WORTH IT CAUSE SHE'S FREAKIN' ADORABLE IN IT!!

Galah it should be illegal to be so cute hahaha

Once we picked her up we got this little black picture that she made. It's three yellow chickens haha How adorable aye? :D

We framed it and put it on our wall haha *proud parents*

My boss texted me today too from one of my extra jobs. And I was offered a new contract YAY! Apparently mine expires now at the end of March, so it's a good thing to renew it. I'm excited. I wonder if I got a raise? That'd be a hoot.

At my other job I got quite the big raise the other day. Whoop whoop! *twirls around*

So I was gonna go up and meet with her and sign the contract l earlier today. Hahaha I went out back and started walking towards tegnérlunden and then NOPE. Turned around and decided to take a nap instead, since I have to go to that workplace tonight and work the night shift. Yep yep. Told my boss I'd sign her papers tonight instead :D
Mans we had like theeeeee best nap then. Like wow.

I will always say that snuggles keeps marriages awesome. Yep. True story bro.

A better day

Morning!

I'm waiting on the bus. It's going to be a long work shift. It's actually just a regular one but I feel shitty.

Got a cheap, but tasty coffee from from coffee central. I only had 10kr... So that was nice of him to let me have a cup for that price :)

I dropped Freya off at daycare earlier too. That was hard. It's a different kind of day for her there today. She's staying the whoooole day till 15:30. :/
My sweetheart cried! Gah... I wanna snuggle her now. Already missing the shit out of Freya & Frost.

DOOM 2016

Sooooo... as some of you know, I'm turning 30 in little over a month. Huge deal. yep. I'm terrified. lol Naah, I suppose it ain't such a big deal. I am still me. I still like the same shit I've always liked. I watch my shows, play with my family, work and play my video games..

Talking about that, guess what my lovely man is giving me for my birthday?

The new DOOM :D Omg!!

I'm so excited! I mean, it's been..what? A decade since the last one.
This is gonna be one hell of a video game :3

He's getting me something else too, but he won't tell me what it is haha Good. I don't wanna know. I like gifts as a surprise (as it's meant to beeeee) But I'm nervous about celebrating my birthday.

Unfortunately I'm working a 27h long shift on my B-day so there won't be any celebrations on that particular day. But I'm thinking maybe in the weekend? Or maybe not at all, Who knows?

My friend's turning 30 on wednesday :D I hope she'll like what we got her. It's kind of a lame gift really... and then there's the extra gift too. Just for fun. :3 haha Anyway... better sleep now since it's a workday tomorrow. Blah.

a very tiny part of a big life

It's been one of those shitty mornings...

Got a rough start, but it slowly get's better.

But this is how a day can be.

I'd say I live a big life. I mean, It's not small. It's not insignificant. And it's not a lonely life.
I know I'd be mourned if I died. I know someone would cry themselves to sleep if I did.
I also know that I have a man that's very different from other men. He's sensitive, sweet, caring and he thinks a lot (A looot) and he tries oh so hard to be understanding. There are very few men that tries so hard like mine does. He tries so hard everyday for me. He tries to be stronger than me when I'm having a bad day. He tries to make me smile when I'm sad. And at the same time he works hard as a father, playing and teaching her stuff.

And then there's this huge light in my life, called Freya. The light that came out of me. (I sound like the universe lol ....Or a nuclear disaster)
She's so young. Too young to understand why mommy is crying in the bed when dad's in the shower. Too innocent to understand why mom acts like this when no one can see her. She's sad when I'm away, and she get's happy when I come back. Frost is the same. He's like a little child when I come home from work haha They're standing there both so happy and excited in the doorway. It's the best welcome home salute ever.

So I'd say that my life is anything but insignificant. (I don't think anyone's life is insignificant though.) I may have my moments where I feel down and like I'm a nobody. But I make a difference one way or another.
There was this really good speech on Daredevil last night (season 2, yes.. me be nerd) about cause and effect. Everyone's actions have some kind of a consequence. Good or bad or small or big. Everyone interact with someone in some way. So every life has an effect. It matters.


But in my big life... that is filled with people. People that I love. People that I dislike. Even when it's filled with so much love and understanding... there are these moment's that destroys everything.

When I wake up and it feels like someone broke all my ribs on the right side.
When I can't move at all... and I try so hard to keep it in. I can't show them how weak I am. Gotta pretend like I'm all good, like I don't need painkillers all the time.

I realized this morning while Frost was in the shower that when things are really bad,
The worst thing isn't the pain. You can live with pain even if it drives you crazy. 
What's worse is when it takes away my fighting spirit. And without my fighting spirit, what am I?

It's lonely at times, when I'm in this strange killing pain...
Cause no one understands me. Despite them trying so hard. They will never understand what an effort it takes just to stand up from the sofa some days. Or getting up out of bed some days. And it's not the pain that's hindering me... half the time it's my own spirit.

But then I see Freya running around the bed going 'Mama mama mama mama!' giggling and shouting, and I hear Frost say 'Let mama rest a bit. We love you Mama'... and I remember again why I go through that stupid annoying pain. Duh. Of course I'll fight through. Cause my life is pretty fucking awesome despite the pain :)

I have to keep reminding me. And that's what my life's about these days. Reminders. I gotta remind myself why I should keep fighting and trying so god damn hard. Cause when your'e stuck in that void, where everything hurts, and your'e focusing so hard on your joints, and how to move properly... everything get's kinda blurry. Until they step closer and you see their faces. And those moments are precious as fuck. They motivate me. My family is my motivation. But I'd also like to think that I was strong to begin with...haha

Here's something you don't know, I space out a lot. Sometime's it's cause I'm high on whatever I just took, Sometime's it's cause I simply just tend to drift away in thoughts, but most of the time... it's cause I focus SO hard on functioning. I always have to think about how I move, how I walk. How I put down the right foot, then the left. Keep the body up, keep it tight, hold my breath and get tense and then keep going. 

I live a very peaceful life. Definitely not quiet. (have you met Freya??) But it's peaceful and sweet.
I hear how the man I love is going through laundry, mumbling things to himself while folding his shirts and Freya's pyjamas. And here I am, thinking how lucky I really am despite this shitty ass body. It is a shitty fucking body. But it's the body that gave birth to Freya and Frost's Wifey. They love it. So I guess I should try to love it a little more too huh?



So there ya have it. This is my pep speech to myself.
I need a pep speech, if I don't push myself and stay positive and have motivation, I'll go down in a very dark hole. So far I've always managed to get out of that hole pretty quick. I rarely stay down and sad for long. But I'm worried that if I don't keep the fire burning, It'll go dark... and what if it stays dark?


Is it weird to think like this?

To me, mind over matter is a big deal. I manage to do a lot of things just cause I tell myself that I can do it.

Confidential

(Look at my peachpie, she's adorable)

Well... Recently, due to certain events...people have asked me about my confidentiality. (Work wise that is) It's not like I'm being accused of anything. But people ask and wonder.

About me writing a lot about work on my blog.
But I've always been thorough reading through my posts before posting them. I never mention names, and I just use nicknames. (I like nicknames)

And the best part is that I work for three different companies. And I work a LOT. So you never actually know who I'm with. Unless you know me that is haha

I don't break my contract so don't worry.
And a lot of people ask me what I work with and for whom.
And all I can say is that I'm a caretaker for an awesome person. <----
That's about it. I call this person A.
Cause it sounds cool and creepy like "A" in Pretty Little Liars hahahaha Mysterious huh?

Btw I'm about to start working for another company soon. (Probably anyway) Interesting indeed. It's a very small company but it shows great care for it's costumers, and that kinda sounds like something I'd go for. So we'll see what happens on that front soon.

In this meantime you can look at my sweet babypuff. My darling Freyatron who grows up so fast. :< *sniffles*

A good morning

Well maybe not?
It was and it wasn't.

But it ended well. :) Nice breakfast, great news and a supernice nap with Freya and Frost. Family Nap! (My coworker called us her "family goals" lol) That is a compliment indeed. Even though I tell her eeeeveerything about life and being a parent haha



Look at my sweet new shoes!

I was waiting for the bus this morning so I figured, 'Heeeeey why not show my fabulous Dr. Martins to you?' Got new shoes and a new awesome jacket. Looking fierce lol

Happy St. Patrick's day!

I am a pro at cheering some people up. Yep. A freakin' natural lol

Today we decided to spend some time in town, celebrate St. Patrick's day with good food and treaty treats and stuff. I had already cheated big time on the diet so I figured that I might as well cheat on dinner too. So sushi it was! We ate it outside in the sunlight :)
After that we went to Taco Bar so A could drink a bunch of alcohol lol
A frozen margarita Mango flavored and a Jameson scotch.

And as for me, (my morals seems to be a big part of me -_- boo...) I drank freshly squeezed lime lemonade. Daaaaamn that was sour btw. But really delicious. Made me think of Alabama...

We've had a good day. Works been great and everything went well today with is nice.

I Skyped with Freya earlier and it was soooo adorable. I love skyping with those two. She's my babypuff <3 Gah... Can't wait till I get to see her again tomorrow!

Welp... Ciao!

The clinic

We went to the pediatric clinic today :)
We had an appointment for the 18 month check up on the Freyatron and she got to walk aaaaaaall the way over there. (It's actually just 5 minutes away haha) She walked proudly and she was so happy while doing it. Even grandma joined us so Freya got a extra happy then.

And thank god for that cause I had no idea she had to get a shot that day :O

Aaaand mommy don't like it when her babydoodle gets those shots. Ouchie ouchie! :( Uugh.... I hate when she's in pain. But she stopped crying so fast. It only took a few seconds. And then she was all happy go lucky again.

Till we got home -.-
In the end, she fell asleep with me in her little bed, and she slept for three hours.

Btw, she looked adorable yesterday!

Good morning world

I'm at work, LeiLei chilling on the porch while A is in her room playing candy crush. Aaaand I'm watching House while looking though my photos of Freya & Frost <3

Let's hope this turns into a good day!
We had a bit of a rough night... And Freya walked in and slept with us in the middle of the night haha My sweet little bunnypoot. So yet again we all slept tightly together all night <3

I sure hope my man will have a nice day too. It's pretty boring for him and pretty stressful at the same time I guess. It sounds fucked up, but I'd kill to switch places with him. I wanna be bored at home with Freya too. Haha I wanna get angry and stressed too cause I'm with her all day and having to do everything at home too.

Instead I'm stuck here. Which is a good thing too of course :D
I like this job and it pays well :)

And I got some sweet fucking news yesterday! Woho! *doing the safety dance*