lyckorus

lyckorus is the perfect word to describe the feeling I get when my daughter laughs ❤️

Saturday

Watching The Arrow and knitting.
Such a nice day lol

It's just been snuggles and laying in the couch today. Oh and salads. We like salads in this family (well, I do anyway lol) Freya eats goo.


update: we walked. In the rain.

It's another Friday

Good morning!
Freya woke me up at 4 this lovely morning. But fell back asleep so I got to rest till 8 then. Which would've been wonderful if the stupid pain wouldn't ruin it. But oh well. Can't have it all can we?

Freya kept getting tangled up inside her pajamas so she got pissed off all the time hahah looked hilarious too. I don't even understand how the fuck she managed to do that.. It looked so funny. Like a lump with no legs haha
But eventually she fell asleep in my arms, and I put her in the doggy bed for now. <3 (cuteness overload yes...)

And nooooow I can finally enjoy my coffee. (Which has been reheated twice already....that should tell you how often I get to finish my god damn coffee) so that's nice. :) yep. I gotta keep everything in the window these days cause Freya's long arms can reach fucking everything! -_- Gotta keep a constant eye on that doodle. She as fast as the flash...zoom zoom! ⚡️

We ain't got much on the schedule today....
Figured I'd lure my man out with me on adventures! And by adventures I mean to the work agency. lol don't tell him that though. Mwehehe.. Sneaky the sneakster. That's me.

Man, I miss the laptop... I really do. -.-

Good morning

Yep, this is what I'm doing this morning.
Drinking coffee, knitting in between games. Hah. It's a sad team I'm in... I'm the only one reviving people.... So I die like all the time. Haha

Freya's been having trouble pooping again. Some days it just won't stop coming lol And some day it's just too hard and takes forever to get out.
Life as a baby is hard sometimes.

Well my little weasel is sick... probably. She's feverish and whiny, with little puffy rosy cheeks. On the bright side I get infinity amount of snuggles hahHa

Ah, I made my own low carbs bread the other day. Mainly for hamburger, but tasty as sandwich too haha It's been a while since I had bread for breakfast. Mmm...

Oh, I'm also knitting a new thing for Freya. Don't know what yet haha But I like the colors. Minty greenish and fluffy pink.


And in case you didn't know... i broke our laptop. yep. Great huh?

Shitnuggets

Well damn... I broke the laptop somehow.
And Freya puked like a god damn fire post this morning. All over me, the floor, chair..herself. It was awesome. -_- Not.

And I've been up talking to Patrik all morning about the laptop. It's good to know someone in the IT department. Buuuuut unfortunately that didn't help. :(
It's not the programming... It's gotta be the software he said. Boo.

But he gave me a clever tip so I'mma see if I can succeed with that. Hah.

So.. Yeah.

I got a job

Starting from september 1st, I start working again. Sweet.
Very high awesome pay. I like that shit. Lots of free time too.
I mean, many days off, still great pay... pretty fucking rad man.

Plus, great employer and co workers. YAY. I get to feel liked and appreciated too.
Got a text earlier where they asked me about it so YAY ME.

I also have a place where I'll work some extra shifts.

My boss likes meeeeee, I'll probably get extra shifts before september so that's nice. I'll work a little before then,. Just being thrown to random places, but still.
It's a good job.

Now, all that's left is Frost. We'll find something for him as well :D


I'm off to mom's place for a short bit. Ciao!



Ah, I'll probably get good painkillers so I'll manage :D

Look who woke up in a splendid mood?
Of course I had to make a delicious breakfast then. Since it's sunday and all :D

sunday morning

I'm sitting alone in the living room, enjoying a nice cup of coffee.
Everyone else is still asleep.
Even Freya. She's been sleeping since 10 last night till now. It's almost 10 in the morning now.
She slept with her butt up in the air <3

Oh, last night I made low carb wraps :D
With a fuckton of dressing they were pretty damn tasty. But difficult to make -_-
But dry as fuck without it.


With the rest of the dough, I'll see if I can make a lchf roll cake with it today.  :D

KONGOS & Three Days Grace

This song is on repeat today




I fucking love it :D


And just because I feel like listening to TDG, here they are:

No need for words when a photo says it all

Afternoon nap and chicken

We just woke up from a looooooooooong and snuggly nap. Very cosy I tell you :)
I think we both needed it badly. Our energies just get supercharged when we're alone like that.
And now I feel all charged up and awesome.

All of a sudden she smiled in her sleep haha And she looked superadorable :3
I wonder what she dreamed about? My milk? lmao

Ooooh, I started this morning (noon rather..) with Outlander and coffee and smoothie.
Aaaah. Just aaaah. Now that is an awesome show.
And a very awesome smoothie. And an even awesomer coffee cup :D

I also talked to mom and then I talked to Frost. So I do feel much better.
Shed a few tears, opened up and all that gayness.
Superlame really. But I feel better though.
So I got that going for me, which is nice.




Went through some stuff on the xbox earlier.
Just yesterday when Nathalie and I were playing, the invites just came popping in. She got invites too lol It's kinda a bother sometimes cause it pops up on the screen while you play. But oh well. But this one dude keeps sending me part invites like crazy. He really won't stop haha

Welp, I guess I should cook some chicken now.
Adios!

Thought of you

haha I couldn't help it..

But this made me think of my friend. It's so fab and sparkly haha

I wouldn't say she's gay, although she more gay than straight lol

Thought you'd love this my yandere friend <3

The insults...

Ok, here's a rant for ya.
(and read this on your own risk, some might actually be offended by what I'll be writing... Though, if you are...chances are your'e just the kind of person I don't wanna be)

So I got a message this morning from someone who was in the same team as me in Search & Rescue.
He called me a GamerGirl. And asked if I also was a nerd.
(First of all... what's with those questions?) 
Basically, then entire message insulted me.

No I'm not a god damn fucking nerd you twat. Who calls themselves that?! A nerd wannabe does.
So What, I'm a nerd cause I like comics and videogames? Nah, I think I'm pretty fucking normal. I mean, yeah...I get that I'm weird on a lot of other levels haha But no, I ain't no nerd. The only one who can call me that is Frost.


And now for the biggest fucking insult eveeeeeer.

He called me a GamerGirl. <----------- A GAMERGIRL.

The ONLY ones calling themselves GamerGirls, are in fact: Not a gamer. Just a girl. A simple girl seeking attention, probably trying to play videogames so that a guy will say 'oh cool...a hot chick who likes games?' Fact. You can't even argue with me on that. I'm right and you know it. Why else would you call yourself that? It's so boys will know your'e a girl. Truth. Usually it's kids using these words and labels. But ther are occasions when a fully grown woman or man will use it to. LoL I know right?


I'm actually really insulted. 

Why'd you have to add "girl" to it? I play videogames. With my hands, not my vagina.

Online, I'm not a chick. I'm the awesomest koala. And I'll shoot you.


So yeah, I don't appreciate being called either a nerd nor a gamergirl.

It really is true though, go to instagram and check hashtags for Gamergirl.
See what you get? Girls who wants guys attention.
Some don't even HAVE VIDEOGAMES ON THE PHOTO. (what's with the hashtag then?!) It's just their face trying to look hot.

And your'e labeling me up with the likes of them?
I'm insulted.


I'm not a girl online. I ain't no feminist, but I don't want to be labeled.
I'm just a person playing video games. Simple as that.

And I know, it's not the guys fault...he's just doing what he think girls likes.
Cause it's girls labeling themselves as it. Cause they want to be known for being females, I mean..how else would a guy know it's a girl? How else could he hit on them?


I'm a fucking legend. Not a gamergirl. lol

Well Hello to you

Hi~

The weather is really weird...first super sunny and HOT...and then cloudy and chilly...what the hell. Make up you god damn mind  weather gods!

I've been watching the 4400, figured it's worth a shot right?
I'm still waiting for next episode on The Returned so this will do to kill the time.
I love Sundays nowadays. Cause they're filled with shows for me to watch now haha

I'm playing some search and rescue now.
Sometimes I get so mad that I freak myself out.... Like you wouldn't believe the words I can come up with when I get pissed off in a game. lol
I never used to get mad or loose my temper before these pains started to ruin my life.
Strange....  I don't like it.

welp, nothing that can be done about that now, so just lean back and enjoy the ride.

Had a lovely morning with Freya today, :)

Snugglelump <3

And then she got mad and it wasn't as lovely anymore lol

I woke up looking like a birdsnest in the head....so that was nice....I guess.

The hair was standing everywhere, so I kinda had to take a pic. Thought it was funny.

But it looked way worse in reality actually............

I make messy look splendid.

ahahaha She looked hilarious here so I had to put this pic up too :'D

After that, we went to town.

I wore different shoes today so I managed to walk pretty well actually.

The pain wasn't killing me as it often does. And ya know what?

I put me in a decent fucking mood :D

Yep, we had a nice time ^^

Ate lunch and junk.

I like lunch. 

And Freya was exhausted when we came home and fell asleep in my lap. D'aaaws... *heart melt* Sometimes I kinda feel like I'm having some "cuteness overload" issues haha

I'm about to go to bed, Freya went to sleep at 9, and I'll get a few hours sleep now cause she sleeps way better and longer now with her night meal I make her.
We'll see if she'll sleep long tonight again, I made rice flour porridge this time so I don't really have a clue on how long she'll say full on it? But she sure did ate a lot I tall ya....

Night!

Xbox Live invites

I should probably make something clear, in case any of you who follows me on the xbox read this:

Yes, I occasionally enjoy playing with someone if you send me an invite.
NO I do not want to join your party.

I don't do parties. Nope. No. Just no...I'll play with you if I feel like it.
But that's about it.

I got 22 god damn invites in a row AND THAT'S CONSIDERED SPAMMING!!
If I don't accept your first 15 ones, what makes you think I'll accept the other 20 you send me?
And yes, about 25 of those invites was from the same person! The other ones from random players I met in CoD.

So, yeah.......... Frost called it Xbox stalking lol
He counted to 15 of those last night, same person again. haha
But hey, it's a follower. lol I haz them.


Don't get me wrong, like I said: the game itself ain't the problem, just joining a party. I have no intentions chatting with you. Unless I know you of course. Duh.

But I'm not interested in getting to know you. 
Imagine me having to get to know every fucker who sends me an invite? Shooot....that'd be thousands.

Thursday

We've been out in the sun, playing :D Freya sat in the swings, and then played with some leaves and sand haha
Came home and made a snack, a smoothie. Pretty convenient. :)

I'm gonna watch American Odyssey now. YAY!

banana pancakes

 Yesterday I decided to make banana pancakes with no carbs since I had so many bananas left. I added some vanilla and cocoa powder in it too. Mmm..but man were they rich....I ate two, the size of my palm...and I was stuffed -_-

Drizzled some honey over it and added blueberries and violá.. Turned out pretty fucking tasty if you ask me.

And Freya's "Good night!" snack was regular porridge with rice flour and apricot in it :) She went nom nom nom.

Roses are red....f

But not these! hah!
Pretty pink these are.

 I forgot to mention these pretty roses Frost gave me yesterday.
I LOVE getting flowers!

And I love you Frost :)

Happy Birthday Snuggletree!

It's the man that matters most in my life's birthday today!
Congratulations to my honey Frost!

Here's a song that was released on the day you were born, May 11 1987





And my birthday was yesterday so we kinda did it like we always do.. celebrated it together on the same day. Way easier to do that.


I suck..I really do. I didn't take ANY pics of our birthday gathering yesterday. Not even one of the cake...boo. Nathalie came over earlier cause I was in a pinch...I had no eggs. And the people were gonne drop by in like an hour..hi panic. She she swooshed over with eggs and helped me bake the cake while I fed Freya :D

I got awesome fucking gifts from beeb <3 Abd from everyone as well of course. But his hit me right in the feels lol

First 6 issues of The Walking Dead...in swedish haha Perf! Earrings, headphones (one big pair, and one small pair) Wolverine T-Shirt and a Better Call Saul mug! haha




And today, my day actually started at 2am.......yep.
Freya's been having some problems sleeping lately. She's been having nightmares maybe? Or trying to poop or teething, whatever...but for 3 nights she's been waking up a lot. And she'll only fall back asleep (crying) on my chest. Precious little angelpuff.

She really really cries a lot when it comes to poop :(
I add prunes to her oatmeal with my homemade apricot jelly but I don't think the prunes are helping her. It's heartbreaking to hear her cry like that.

Plus she's in kind of a mommy period right now. But she plays on her own, sometimes with LeiLei in her room so that's nice haha

But for anyone with babies or older kids than that, the kind of oat meal I make is the best!
Keep that in mind and cook it for them. Filled with vitamin C and iron. And babies lurves it.

Dobidobidooo

So, today's pretty much been like every other day.
Except Freya's been a monster haha In a good way :)
And in a bad too I guess? She's EVERYWHERE.
She crawls away fast as fudge and then all of a sudden she's sitting in the hallway playing with our shoes...
And she stands up all the time, and does the whole OH LOOK MA'..NO HANDS thing...it's not funny! I get scared every time she does it.. what if she bangs her cute little face into the coffee table and I'm not fast enough to catch her? GAaah..

Anyway... we had a fun morning, she ate a lot, and I had smoothies and shit..
And I kicked fucking ASS in CoD AW...just sayin'...
30 kills, 7 deaths. Pretty fucking awesome. Got a message saying 'You really are an awesome koala huh?' lolololol I thought it was kinda funny.

Usually I get to play in the mornings, and in between games I knit haha
I'm knitting kind of a poncho for Freya, and I've already picked out her buttons for it <3 And lace to put in the bottom of it :) It'll be a supper cute thingy.




Oh and man, did I make a delicious dinner or what?
cauliflower rice, peanutsauce, and spicy chicken. Mmmm..I loved it! yay me.


Ah, Frost's been wrapping my birthday presents today...........lol
He's really not a natural at wrapping shit. hahaha Gosh, I love that man. :)

Plus he's funny too haha Had a REALLY nice day yesterday, if ya know what I mean? hahaha jk jk

I'll summon yesterday up ok?

Yep, I made theeeeeee most delicious milkshake smoothie EVER.

It was fucking tasty AND healthy. Love it when those two gets combines. 

It's rare, but wonderful lol

Freya stands up ALL the time these days...I'm sure she'll just start walking any day now -_-

And Kuti & Dad wanted to celebrate out upcoming birthday yesterday, so we all had dinner at the taco bar ^^ Yum yum. As always, I had my chicken chipotle salad *looooove* 

Yeah, even though this birthday girl is a fatty, someone managed to catch me on a photo -__-
And my dad looks like he's about to murder someone... haha I really don't want to be on photos while being a fatty McFattersson.





And this is from this morning, she's so fascinated by my ring.

She needs to be distracted sometimes, otherwise she'll remember how much she hates sitting in the baby chair haha


Right, Update on the neurologist appointment:
Yes. turns out I do have EDS.
But I remain positive, the doctor told me that I need to learn how to control my body. Cause I build muscles a lot faster than a normal person, but I can't control the amount of strength I use. And my muscles and tissue has to work so much more to keep the joins and shit in it's place. Eventually my body gets exhausted and the pain and cramps sneak up on me. (like now) 

I'll be seeing a specialist who specializes in neurological diseases and physiotherapy. I'm excited about that. She'll teach me how to control the body, and how to relax. 

And once I've learnt how to handle everything and relaxing, I can start training again. Wheeee~
I'll be starting Yoga as soon as I'm a wee bit more stable.

My goal is to be a mother who can play a lot with her children! *bro fist*

The day has finally come

I'm going to see the neurologist today. In a way, I'm kinda nervous...
I keep hoping that they'll find some simple nerve damage thingy, and fix it.
I keep hoping that all the sings of EDS is just a coincidence and it's just a nerve being squeezed or whatever. Ya know? I keep finding excuses haha

 I just want this to be over. I want to not wake up in pain everyday.
I want to be able to play with my daughter, and not having to make slow focused movements in order to avoid too much pain.

But I've got my hopes up today. Maybe they'll find what's wrong?
Maybe it can be fixed? Who knows.

Anyway, I'm about to make breakfast for my believed snuggleweasel Freya <3

I made apricot puree for her yesterday. One regular with just apricots, and one with apricots and coconut cream.  She seemed to like it :D

She doesn't really like to sit in the baby chair for long, seems like it hurts or something? So in the end she has to sit on the table -_- Which is quite nerve wrecking since she wants to touch EVERYTHING. Gah... haha

But she's more comfortable then so I guess it's ok.

I remembered something I forgot

So I expressed my opinion to a friend today on a subject..
My point was:  Is it ok to support/like/enjoy something, even though the person behind that is evil? It's kind of an interesting subject to discuss really.


But this whole discussion reminded me of how much I loved philosophy classes :D 



Man, I enjoyed philosophy and psychology classes in school. We even had an extra course that I took called ethics and morals. I went to a christian class... needless to say, I often stood in one corner when the others stood in another lol We rarely shared the same values and opinions. They were against abortion, I was pro abortion, although I had different opinions in different stages of a pregnancy. I think it's up to oneself I guess.
But I hate when people use it instead of using birth control. -_- Just don't fuck instead of being irresponsible and dumb.

But I LOVE discussions on matters like this. 

Some people take discussions too seriously though, I remember that some classmates could get very upset and angry with me for not agreeing with them. Especially on biblical matters. I'm nont much of a Bible person haha

I've had many good looooooooooooong discussions with Marty for instance. And Nathalie too. Where we think differently but still enjoy the discussion. :)

Although, usually...we are on the same page most of the time.

I started talking to Frost about all this that happened today and what I wrote, and one thing led to another... and I went in on the whole 'death help' matter. (euthanasia)  ( yeah don't ask me how it escalated to that haha)  You know? When you help someone die? Like if I turn into a veggie...or I get completely paralyzed, is it ok to help me die then if I want it? Cause I wouldn't wanna live a life stuck to machines, not enjoying the small things in life that I enjoy. Aren't those the things that makes life worth living? Waking up next to the person you love every morning, hearing you kids laughter, eating tasty pralines or delicious food. Going on small adventures, exploring new things. Learning new yet small things everyday? What good is my life, if I can't enjoy any of those?

Frost ain't fun to discuss with this late. -_- I'm all deep and shit. Talking opinions and feelings and ethics. Right and wrong. Black or white? Grey matter? When does it exist? And he's all like... maybe you should go to a philosophy class again?

And it got me thinking, I miss having those classes. Discussing philosophy, ethics and morals. How you can read a person by their morals.


 I have strict beliefs and opinions that no one can take from me. I know WHO I am, and where I come from. I want to raise my daughter to have the open mind I have, to dare to see things from different perspectives and that you should always follow you own path. Don't follow others.  I never did.

Sure, I was like a huge fucking outcast for it in school hahaha But it didn't really bother me. Nor did it change me. I was me. And I had a mother who let me be me, I was always honest with her, she knew I was an outcast. So she called the school sometimes and got me off the hook when it came to school matters like field trips and class trips and shit. Ew. (And I'm eternally grateful for it too. I'd rather die than share rooms with all those twats)

Today I'm proud that I dared to be different. I'm glad I never tried to be like the popular kids. You find unique people while your'e looking where others aren't.

And I'm really glad I didn't let them drag me down, and turn me into something I'm not.
Peer pressure never worked on me :D I saw many old friends that succumbed to the peer pressure, started smoking and loosing their virginity way to early, doing drugs and alcohol too young as well. And now when you look at them today.........it's like they never really left that little smoking box behind the school. Sad. But true.

Meanwhile, I was stuck in a room with 5 smelly guys playing video games.

I may have been a nerd, but I was fine with that.







Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I genuinely hope I can start philosophy classes or psychology classes soon.
Apparently I have a good chance to study psychology in a year and a half. I have the credentials, and also references. WOHO.

It's nice to have old bosses backing you up. :D

So, within a year.. education should be on the list.

nutritious homemade babyfood

I'm writing about baby food cause I know many people that are pregnant, or have babies now. (And I know some that know someone who have babies) Some don't know what to cook. So here's some shit I do :D

Nowadays, Freya eats around 3 to 4 meals a day. And I breastfeed around 4 times a day as well. She still prefers my milk over other food, so we're exploring all kinds of foods and flavors to see if we find something she likes more than my milk.

I've found things she likes though, likes a lot. (But mama's milk is still better lol)

She likes fish! YAY! Fish is nutritious and rich on omega 3.
The other day I fried some char (loach aka röding) in lots of butter, sweet potato, peas and basil. And put it in the blender. She LOVED it. Same with salmon. Mmm...

And I made ground beef with sweet potato, basil and tomato and butter last night too. She seems to seriously like sweet potato. Good for her. :)

Every morning she gets homemade oatmeal porridge. Like I wrote about another time, a certain oat flour that is rich in iron <---- Plus rose hip flour which is rich in vitamin C. If you add vitamin C too food containing iron, the baby can absorb the iron better. And babies need lots of iron. It's the biggest vitamin us mothers can not provide for them. Our milk has no iron. And once the turn 6 months old they'll need iron. And CAN'T and mustn't give them any kinds of vitamin supplements or iron supplement. Babies should only eat natural things.


Since Freya is a little more than 8 months now, my milk can't really provide all the nutrients at all that she needs, so I do my best researching food everyday haha

When she's 1 year old, I'll start giving her chiapudding too. :) But for now, that's my own delicious & nutritious thing haha



Things good for babies over 6 months:
Apricot purée. That's super rich in iron. Plus is tasty for babies too.
Strawberries... rich in iron, yet my wildling doesn't like them. Sad.
Broccoli. Bleh.
Meat. Duh.
Bloodpudding. (I'll make some for her soon, There's also english blackpudding. Awesome for babies to make into a goo)
skrädmjöl (That special flour) This morning I made her outmeal porridge as usual, but I added plum puree

I head green veggies usually contain some iron...we'll see about that.

Anyway, my family is here visiting the awesome granddaughter haha Freya is super happy too. While my sister just sits silently next to me. haha I think she zoned out a little.

Valborg

So it was valborgs mässoafton yesterday. YAY.
Thing didn't quite go as planned, but we had fun. ^_^
It rained...and rained. Bleh...

Freya enjoyed watching the grill and the fire haha
After a looooooong time, we finally got the grill going as it should. Just needed a woman's touch lol

Nathalie and I bought a loooooooooooooooy of meat too. Mmm..baby back ribbs, steaks, chicken...yum. It was delicious.
Unfortunatelly the strawberries were all mush.

Nathalie stayed as long as I could stay awake haha And then I made Frost walk her home cause it was dark and weirdos everywhere lol
 I would've told him to walk Josse home but she vanished so fast. Like a ghost! Pew!


Next year will be much much better. We're going to the childrens island, to watch an early bonfire, pet some goats and other anumals. Freya will have blast. And then after that we'll grill some shit at home. :D

Oh, btw...we did get to see the fireworks last night. They were so pretty! :)