Lazy fuck

My mood was kind of shitty earlier today... Hah Loooook, I'm calm now.

Well, I'm just laying around on Josse's sofa... Being lazy. Waiting for Robin & Josse to come home. Yep. Drinking yogurt as well.... Like a baws!

I was thinking of heading home soon, and see if babe is awake yet and so on. Uh huh.

Lalalalalaaaaa

I broke his Facebook. Haha
Sometimes I want attention :D

Meh

I'm at Josse's place right now :) She ain't here though. But I helped myself and made coffee and junk, and now I'm sipping on a stroooong cup of coffee with mum. Yep.

Dinner

Yus...
Aaah but I do miss Frost very very much!

Fuck you

I kinda wanna put my fist down your throat and make you shut up. I really really do.


I'm off to meet Sofia B soon. Unexpected really.... She said she had to see me today cause she wont be able to see me before I leave otherwise. haha So much for my "nothing planned" saturday. Not that I mind. We're gonna grab some food...somewhere. I dunno. But she was very aggressive 'CALL ME ASAP! We need to meet!!'
naturally I'd get a bit iffy then.. hah.

Doris vs Moa

CHuu chuuuu

I've spent all day with little sister. Helping her move out and all that junk. Uh huh. Our little girl is growing up *teary eyes, biting my lip* AAAAAAAAAAW!

well, I've had a good day apart from the bird poop part. That sucked really. Tiny moment of complete madness there but it quickly passed. Sort of. Mhm.

Anyway, I'm waiting for Wille to fall asleep now. SLEEP FAST WEE BABY. Josse is waiting for meeeeeee.

Hey don't read it! I'm writing about my peeeriooood!

Don't read this unless you actually wanna know about period and other horrible things. In fact, no men should read this.
Oh ANd Frost shouldn't read this either. DON'T READ IT YOU TURD. I know you want to but no. Your'e not supposed to know junk like this about your girlfriend YET. Uh huh.

FUCK. Aaah Don't ask me why.... But I accidentally pinched myself in the vagina. And I screamed out loud like a crazy person. Oh.My.God. It hurt. It still hurts... Sensitive area ya know? Gosh... I wanna lay down and die... for reals.

I hate having my period. These new things, I'm not used to it. It's like a fucking safari trying to understand shit and to place it right..... Oh god. Sometimes I hate my life.

This is on the other hand probably the best invention for a woman. Ever! I'm simply not used to it yet.
But seriously, I'll write about it now cause I have a shitload of female readers. And I was asked to write about this and so I will. Not that I'm a pro about it but whatever. You can google it.
The men can just look at porn for now while I write this ok? Haha

I've just started using a LadyCup. What a gay gay name... (so gay that I'm making a condecending face while saying it out loud) But a very awesome invention. Been around for ages and still, most women know nothing about it. It's a rubber thingy you put in, instead of a tampon. You never have to use tampons again. This is fucking cheap to have! And safe, healthy and hygienic. And you only take it out after 8-12 hours. It's said that it won't leak at all if you put it in right, nor will you feel it. Fucking aye. No worries then. This is so fucking gross to write about YAY!

But I am rather tight so I'm having a wee bit of trouble placing it right. Haha Which is why I manage to go on strange fucking adventures in the bathroom... lol But seriously. It awesome. But I'm just not used to it I guess. I like not having to worry though. I don't have to worry about anything yay me!

My guess is that it just takes a longer time for women who are tight to get used to it. IT TAKES MOTHERFUCKING SKILL I TELL YOU.

Coffee meeting outside

We bumped in to Christer and his kid. Somehow we ended up talking about tattoos and Lemmy Kilmeister. For a LONG time. While doing that, his daughter played with Doris a lot.

Aaaaah me is enjoying my coffee now. Josse ate 2 n**gerballs in a rush haha

Yeah

Just by hoping alone ain't gonna work. I've gotten this far cause I know I'll always be fine, and I know things always works out in the end but I've had to do things by myself then as well. 'If its not alright in the "end" then it obviously isn't the end yet?'


Gosh I wish someone would just call me and say 'heeeey you're such a funky lil' lass, we want YOU to work for us! For a great amount of money!'

But no.
If I want a job, I'll have to go find it myself. Jobs don't find me.

Same with everything else. One can always hope for the best, but you gotta do it yourself. You'll get no where if you don't give it a push. Things won't get done unless you DO them. I'm slow at that part... Or lazy. You pick. Either way, I'm not as shiftless as I used to be. Probably cause I stopped giving a fuck. And started to give a fuck about myself instead lol

I gave myself a huuuuuge push this year. I may not have a job but I've come pretty far and I'm doing things I've never done before, going places I've never gone before and feeling shit I've never felt before. Me took a leap and it lead me here.

Being positive and and a bit more accountable has gotten me pretty far. Eventually I'll drag my man here as well just cause I know it's possible :) if I want it. I can do it. If we both want it then double the odds! YAY

I'm having a jolly good day. Are you?
Off I go on new adventures!

200 feet from here......

Good morning

I know, I look awesome when I'm unprepared. Face of a star that is. I look oh so fucking fabulous.
Or not hahaha

I kinda like these pics though. They look funny :) haha

Well, off I go to the vet. And then I'll help out with junk and... shit... Josse is moving today! YaY! I'm not really good for anything though, with my knee and all. -___- But I can carry small stuff and point at things. I know how to point! And unpack!!!! Ooooooh I'm great at unpacking haha

A thought

uhm...

well, after MANY hours... it's finally over. We'll see what happens I guess. I've been busy, that much is true. And I've been scheming a lot as well. haha Clever clever.

Gotta make sure that everything is ready for when I leave. :D

Silence

This is so awkward. Not a single word is being said. I'm just sitting here with a dumb look on my face. Occasionally smiling whenever I see that Frost has written to me <3

Well, I've given it a try. Whatever happens now is not up to me. I honestly don't care. I tried.

Autumn

It's definitely autumn now. :)
And when I get back to Sweden, there'll probably be snow everywhere! YaY! Haha

Rain

I just showered ad now I'm sitting outside under a roof in the rain... Thinking. Yay.

Hmmm....

Should probably go home soon.

Dinner

Aaaaah dinner at stinas place. Mashed potatoes and Swedish pannbiffar! Nooooom!

I make delicious mashed potatoes!

Quality time

Spending some quality time with Stina right now. Very nice. Both of us ended up in a sofa coma. Not saying a word, just laying there being awesome haha This is usually what happens when we hang out. So comfortable :) Well we did talk haha about snugglepuff, about the flights, about mashed potatoes and junk.

Oh right. We're gonna make good soon. Om fn nom.

The woman who slept "too little"

Aaaaaah I wouldn't mind taking a naaaaaaaaap. Hah.

But no. I'll head over to Stina soon. Sweeeeet. Playtime for reals. And possibly even dinner. YaY!


Now tell me I'm pretty.

This bitch gets shit done!

Yeah, don't piss off a Jo on her period. Just sayin'.
I went on a rampage and had a HUGE dispute with the customer service at american airlines. Apparently my english vocabulary is excellent when I'm pissed. YaY me<---

So, the flight home has been cancelled.
But they're doing their best to fix it for me now since it would be rather nice to actually RETURN home to sweden eventually since money is an issue here. And I ain't buying another ticket since I did pay my share.

FYI. Customer service sucks balls. (The one in sweden that is) And now we're dealing with this shit online in a service chat room. Fuck, this person can't even use the correct grammar or anything. What the fuck is this? Roar... haha I've been so close to write something sarcastic or rude, and I almost wrote FUCK to that person as well. But me didn't. No worries :)



Well there we go. They just told me that I don't have to do a thing, they'll fix it for me. There has been a change. On the way home I'll be going from Huntsville to Dallas, and then to Houston Texas, and then Heathrow? Aaaah well I'll be going to a shitload of places anyway.

Sweet. Dallas AND Texas. I don't mind.


There is however one problem.


We don't know WHEN I'll be going back to sweden.
They couldn't give me an answer for that. I'll be in the U.S for a long while....but WHEN will I be able to go home one might wonder? I kinda need to get home before the 24th of december. Well, they told me not to worry. And that they'd keep me updated via email and that I'll get mail about when to go home and so on. Hmmm....Ah american Airlines. What is up with this?

Anyhooooooooo.... YaY. I'm still happy. It would have been worse if it was the flight THERE that was cancelled ya know? :) As long as I can get to where I wanna go then me is happy <3

Coffee

Had some good company and whatnot today. It was nice :)

A sandwich, a big cup of coffee and awesome company is all I need to have a great day really,

Snore

Doris is here... Wild as fuck.
I've only slept for about 2 or 3 hours? (Don't ask me to count cause its too early) But anyway, I jumped in bed again when Doris got here.

In order to escape Doris, Lei Lei got to sleep in the bed cause Doris is too tiny to jump up in it haha so she's sleeping on Lei Lei's bed on the floor. YES! Both dogs asleep.... Me can naaaaaaaap.

I miss my tree <3 *snuggle snooooore*

Lei Lei is snoring next to me right now <3 And Doris is snoring on the floor. I shall snore as well. CAUSE I CAN.

Upset much? Period huh?

ROAR.

I went for a late night walk with Lei Lei just now. Of course the sky just HAD to open up and pour that pissing rain on me. Soaking wet. YaY. And then when I was walking under the oak trees it was like the trees opened fire and shot acorns at my head! Hard! I'm not kidding. it was like someone was throwing them at me with all their might, hitting me in the head. Grrr..... hurt like hell. Even stood there for a while mumbling and growling about it. Complaining about the rain and those stupid fucking acorns.

Not only that, my tummy hurts. Like WOW.
Aaaah, that time of the month. Aren't I the lucky one? It seriously hurts so badly that it makes me loose breath every once in a while.

hahaha it's ok for me to get grumpy then aye?
Rain, soaking wet, COLD, and acorns attacking me, period ache. Sweet.

Well. it's not like I'm moody or pissed or anything. I'm just annoyed. Like Grr...



hah I even threw and acorn back at the tree. Felt good about it for a second as well. And then I realized that a 26 year old lady is throwing acorns back at an oak tree while cussing at it. Yeah............... I just pulled the hood over my head and walked away in shame.


So, I'm here. Making myself giggle a little about the sad truth. And grossing me out at the same time. Splendid work I do.

Fluffball

Dinner

Yeah I know... It's a late fucking dinner. Tasty as hell though. And the boys cooked it. Hah while I wrote with Frost <3 lalala~
Beef and potato gratin. Nom nom.

too many thoughts

Aaaah I've been thinking and maybe even worrying a bit too much today. I can't help it... there's just so much to think about that it makes me panic.

And right now, things are not going as smoothly as I'd like them too. It's gnawing inside me...grr... never mind.

Stupid junk.

And BAAAH. I don't know how to handle some things... I have my routines, even if it seems like I have none. But I do. And I have principles and morals. And when I'm set on something, I tend to stay that way. I don't do well with "changes". I know...I'm a stubborn fucker. But now... I'm gonna have to rethink it. Or possibly find away around my tenacity... Gosh. And I need to actually do this before I leave sweden? Whyyyyyyy? Why do I have to "fix" things that I'd much rather not be involved in.

I'll have to consider his feelings, and be kind and... uh.. supportive I guess. -_- Gosh, I honestly ain't that thrilled about it no... Am I capable of being less of a cunt?

Sorry but I have a feeling that I know how this will end :(

Kiss kiss

I got so many kisses yesterday. Haha This little baby girl attacked my face all the time <3

Fika!

Now that I think about it.... When I leave for The states.... I won't see Moa again for about 2 years :( I'll really fucking miss this wee girl. A lot.

Swedish bakery

Moa and I went to get some lunch and junk ya know?

Fika. A Swedish thang :) Cookie and something tasty. Me is having fun.

Örebro

'

Center of my town. Nicest place to be :) It's the nicest during the summer and spring. Aaaaw. I'ma sit with Frost under the trees on the benches over there uh huh.

Been busy today I have.

Supportive girlfriend and junk :)

haha I'm watching NFL live with Frost. Uh huh. Me is learning. This is a hundred times more fun than soccer. Yus.

And I kinda enjoy watching it tbh. Haha

uh huh uh huuuh!

A world without music would be a very sad place

Me luvs this song

Especially in the middle when the acoustic comes :)

Vote for Obama!

You know you want to.

Sunday

Herp. Coffee.

Fuck

I still can't remember what it is that I may have forgotten, or not forgotten???

what part of LEAVE ME ALONE is it that you don't understand?

I'm listening to some music now, relaxing my brain and junk. As if worrying will ever fucking solve anything?  I'm clever enough to reason with myself and think clearly instead. haha Made sense? I've stopped thinking :D

But I'm contemplating leaving my phone on mute a lot more often now, and to leave it in my room sometimes. I don't have to be available for everyone at all times right? I think I like this solitary thing. I'm still social as ever. People still drop by. :) I think I like it this way better.  :) It makes me feel at ease. There's something about phones.... it's different if someone talks to me to my face ya know? I'm not like other women, I don't appreciate talking about my feelings. Why must people always talk about their god damn emotions all the time?! Well, not that I'm feeling bad or anything but you get the point right?







Oooh Did you know that:

• I can burp the alphabet ahaha
• I'm incredibly flexible
• I was born on a saturday. lol
• My eyes has a weird color if you look closely enough.
• I can shut down my emotions and not feel a thing if I have to.
• I turn 27 in 229 days.
• I only wear jewelry that someone has given me, or something with a thought behind it.
• sometimes I look down on people who are mentally weaker than me. :/
• Occasionally I do enjoy being mean......
• I like to read people.
• I probably have ADHD hah
• My boyfriend was born exactly one year and one day after me.
• I love comics
• I've only had 3 cups of coffee today
• I don't take orders that well.
• I'm way too stubborn.
• I smoke less now than I did a few months ago!
• I rarely drink alcohol these days.
• I may seem like an Airhead, but I have too many thoughts in my head that appears as pictures and there's so many that I sometimes have trouble differentiating one from another. Which results in me seeming like I'm too stupid sometimes. Sorry.
• I feel like breaking stuff today.
• for a person who doesn't particularly like pink, I have a LOT of pink stuff.
• I'm "too" straight forward sometimes. It scares people apparently. 
• I'm quite the hypocrite if you think about it.
• I LOVE torn clothes. 
• I am slow as fuck, slower than a sloth when it comes to get shit done I guess.
• I can only paint when my mind is fervid and filled with images. I need the spark.
• I actually do like to have flowers at home even though I rarely admit that.....
• I need to pee real bad right this moment.
• I am peeing now.
• this could be me joking or me being serious... you'll never knoooooow haha

woke up on the wrong side

I feel numb today...
My mood isn't the best...
I didn't sleep well... Woke up around 6am and felt really uneasy. I felt anxious. But I fell asleep after a while again but still slept uneasy, and now my head is all fluffy and whatnot. I have a headache.  My face feels like that of a corpse.. Though this is all probably due to pms. Ah, female issues awaits me huh? Exciting. 2 hours of real sleep hmm... bleh.

But I feel like I've forgotten something important.. Like I'm supposed to do something today? Or meet someone... Hmm... And I've been trying to remember what it is since I woke up.
I feel awkward today for some reason as well.



Oooo Stina was here earlier and took Lei Lei for a long walk :) She did manage to put a wee smile on my face there for a spilt second haha

I'ma keep thinking about what it is that I've forgotten. What is it that has slipped my mind? Or am I just anxious today? Maybe I haven't forgotten anything?

I'm fairly sure I did tell Frost the other day about something I was gonna do on Sunday? Or I just dreamt that I did?

Whatever. In not in the mood to sit and wonder now..... My head really hurts.

I'll notice if someone shows up or if someone gets pissed at me.

Aaaw

That's how you know someone truly cares for ya... Sofia checked up on me just now, just to see if I've eaten anything today (which I haven't...completely forgot about that) But that's sweet :) I fn like that woman a lot. It's nice to know that my friends knows that I care for them even if I show it in a different way than most people. Comfortable feeling that is.

Aaah, I'm feeling good right now. Somewhat hungry but good. Talked to Frost just now, baby had a rough night. But I'm going to ravish him with love and snuggles real soon <3 Gosh, I really do love him so incredibly much. He makes me smile so easily :)

Stina dropped by as well, always a pleasure. She's a very nurturing woman. Great mother she'll be.

Snore

Passed out.

I fn love having my picture taken when I'm sleeping -___- Not cool bro. Not cool.

I may have taken way too many painkillers today. I feel like fading away. Hah.
I like listening to the rain though. It smells like baby poop in the entire apartment. And Lei Lei is snoring.

high as a fucking kite

My sweet company has gone home now.
Good news, there might be a baby soon <3 YaY
A widdle widdle baby! Gosh, I so hope they'll have a child soon. Uh huh. Silliest names ever though... Örjan. For reals?!

Aaah, I'm in bed now, gonna sleep for a while. I'm high as fuck. Dunno why, but today those painkillers REALLY fucking worked. The codeine went straight to my head it seems...... I can't stand up. Well, guess it's my own fault for taking so many of them. But my knee was being a total ass. Unfortunately it's not helping much against the pain really.. it just makes the inside of my head all sticky and fluffy. -_-

I'ma nap now.

Just checked my phone. Holy fucking shit. So many missed calls, from people who know I won't pick up. Why call if you know I don't have my phone with me?  I mean, if your'e gonna call even though I've made it clear that I won't have it with me, at least leave a message if there's anything of importance. Well, no one left any messages so I'm pretty sure everything's okay. No life or death things. That's good. Ah I did get a cute message though 'I love you' from my dearest friend <3

Stina is coming over later to take Lei Lei for a walk. Thank yooooou. She knows the code, all she has to do is come up. She knows why I don't answer my phone.

I have to admit. This is nice.
Remember back in the days when we DIDN'T have cellphones? Hmm?

ROAR.

Peekaboo

Today has been a good and calm day.
It's really nice to just 'be'. I've been spending most of my time with Wille :) When I came home my brother told me that my phone has been ringing constantly but I didn't bother to check. I'll check my phone later to see if there's anything of importance on it. I doubt it though. I'm expecting company as well but I've already told them that I don't have my phone on me today so there's no reason for them to call :D

I'ma do my exercises now and then get ready and look purdy and whatnot, Wille has just fallen asleep so I can clean a bit now as well. And then a walk. A slow one. My knee hurts soooo much today :/ But for now I'm just gonna sink in to deep thoughts and space out a wee bit. It's all about making MYSELF happy now. Uh huh. :) Doing stuff I wanna do. And so on. I'll just surround me with positive things and people. Tis what I need <3

My final rant

My body is soooooo fucking sore. Gaaawd...
It's like I have sore muscles from my god damn vagina to my ribs. haha

Yeah, See... Like two weeks ago I decided to release my frustration and stress somehow. And I figured I can't afford to go to a gym right now (and it's pretty pointless to sign up for an agreement for a year when I'm leaving in 2 weeks) And my knee is too weak to go to boxing and kickboxing and the like. Even army fitness. I can't do that cause I need a clear mind and to be able to focus perfectly in order to sprint or jog. And I can't focus in Army fitness junk ya know?

But, I remember my training as a thai boxer and a regular boxer. So I thought my old training is an excellent way to get rid of stress and shit. I'm really surprised at how weak I've become. And yet I'm surprised at how strong I still am in other positions. Some positions will forever be broken. I can still push 264 lbs with my legs. That itself is amazing considering it's not long ago my knee was completely fucked up.

But like, pushups... gah... so weak. My ribs are weak as well. Those exercises hurt! I may have been a chubby fucker but I've always had great pride in being strong and having my muscles to rely on. And now I don't even have that... I'm just...chubby?

So everyday I do hundreds and hundreds of certain sit ups. Designed for thaiboxers to train every fiber of the core. Hence, muscles soreness from my fucking vagina to my ribcage hahahaha

I'm unemployed, not doing much during the day. Have you any idea how many sit ups a person can do during an entire day of..nothing, nothing but taking the dog for a walk and so on? LOADS. Fucking loads.

Problem is, I was gonna do pushups... but I can't cause my torso is ACHING from sore muscles haha I could barely do one. I was like AAAAAARRGGGHHH2348679+HIOFJHGKHN MOTHERFUCKING OUCH! haha

Oh but let me put it this way.
I can do three times as many exercises now as I could 5 days ago. Uh huh. One of the extremely  few good things about my body. I build muscles fast as fuck. Naprapaths and trainers fn love me haha

Apart from that, there's not many good things about my body I guess. Except that I have nice tits and juicy thighs as my coach once said -__-

Oh I also have so much fun with my pilates ball :D That was one of the best buys I've ever made.



But seriously. I need to release a lot of stress and frustration.

Many people are giving me a lot of pressure. Soooo much pressure.  I can't be there for everyone all the time. I'ma take some time and focus on me and what I wanna do. And when I leave, oh god... it'll be heaven <3

But all I can do now is hide. And that's honestly all I wanna do as well. Cause I'm scared I'll lash out at some poor bastard if I don't.

It's sick that I had 36 missed calls today. And 18 texts. And that would be the texts I DIDN'T answer. I'm excluding the texts I did answer. It's insane. And some people just keep calling even though they KNOW that I wanna be alone. People that needs to tell me eeeeeverything, just nagging and nagging. It's like a broken record. I swear to god  it's the same story over and over again.. Always the same topic. And what's up with asking questions when you don't even want to know the answer?! 
Here's a tip: DON'T ASK ABOUT SOMETHING YA DON'T WANNA KNOW. There.

Don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not sad or down. Tbh, I'm quite the opposite. :) I have the best boyfriend in the world, who always backs me up and gives me so much love. And I have the best family ever that always support me. And the dearest friends that never judge me, and boosts me up. My closest one's actually don't give me any crap at all tbh.  If they do, I'll get scared cause I'll seriously be worried if they're sad or angry then since it rarely happens.

And no. for fuck sake... No, I wont answer if anyone asks me 'am I considered a close one'? FUCK OFF.

See, I can't even pretend to be nice now. 
Just fuck off. 

I care about you all, but NO....just no.

So. . . I shall Go AWOL on everyone. No more answering the phone. It's on my bedroom table at all times now, most of the time it's turned off.

I live where I live, drop by if you have something to say. But my phone is in solitary confinement for now.
I wanna spend these two weeks HAPPY thank you very much.

We'll just see about that

'One of the best horror movies the last few years' huh?
well... guess I'm about to find out.

I'ma watch The Woman. Supposedly a real scary film.
Now, I'm more into either ghost movies or like... Zombie movies ya know? I'm not a big fan of splatter movies at all. Movies like The chainsaw massacre and the such don't interest me at all and they don't really scare me either. So either ghosts or zombies for my part. :)

But I figured I'd give this one a chance :)

I might just like it. You never know :)

I'm a good girl

I made dinner. Aaaand I ate it. Haha
Time to watch a horror movie! Weeeeeh! Haha

Spacing out: since 1986

I swear to god, I WAS listening to her story. It just looked like I was spacing out.

lovey dovey couple

This is kinda funny to read. ahaha..

Makes me laugh.

Yeah I'm a dork once in a while. STFU. lol

I had a weird dream tonight

I dreamt that I had a tick on me... It's kind of interesting to read about dreams.

Ticks

To see ticks in your dream indicates that something is slowly draining the energy and strength out of you. A relationship, your job, or someone is sucking the life and energy out of you. The dream may also be a pun on being "ticked off" and thus represent your feelings of being annoyed or irritated. 

I can relate to this I guess.But not today :) My phone will be off for the day everyone. It's been ringing non stop since early morning. So Ciao!

Friiiiiidaaaaay

Yep it's Friday today.
And Sofia dropped by on her lunch break. Sweeeet! Coffee. I can still drink like one or two more cups today.

I don't do well on photos. I know. haha
But aaaaaall of you know how amazing I am on the inside. It's the inside that matters ya know??!! Do you hear me?!
lol well, guess that's why I have a shitload of people in my life. I must be doing something right. Haha

Snuggles

This is so wonderful <3
I'm watching some TV with veeeery nice company right here next to me. Obviously she ain't that into whatever I'm watching as I am. haha Snugglepuff. Such a hairball really.

I've vacuumed the entire apartment, and still..there's hair a little here and there. Just comes flying from her when she walks by. Very annoying. I think someone's gonna get brushed tonight. Just sayin'...