My final rant

My body is soooooo fucking sore. Gaaawd...
It's like I have sore muscles from my god damn vagina to my ribs. haha

Yeah, See... Like two weeks ago I decided to release my frustration and stress somehow. And I figured I can't afford to go to a gym right now (and it's pretty pointless to sign up for an agreement for a year when I'm leaving in 2 weeks) And my knee is too weak to go to boxing and kickboxing and the like. Even army fitness. I can't do that cause I need a clear mind and to be able to focus perfectly in order to sprint or jog. And I can't focus in Army fitness junk ya know?

But, I remember my training as a thai boxer and a regular boxer. So I thought my old training is an excellent way to get rid of stress and shit. I'm really surprised at how weak I've become. And yet I'm surprised at how strong I still am in other positions. Some positions will forever be broken. I can still push 264 lbs with my legs. That itself is amazing considering it's not long ago my knee was completely fucked up.

But like, pushups... gah... so weak. My ribs are weak as well. Those exercises hurt! I may have been a chubby fucker but I've always had great pride in being strong and having my muscles to rely on. And now I don't even have that... I'm just...chubby?

So everyday I do hundreds and hundreds of certain sit ups. Designed for thaiboxers to train every fiber of the core. Hence, muscles soreness from my fucking vagina to my ribcage hahahaha

I'm unemployed, not doing much during the day. Have you any idea how many sit ups a person can do during an entire day of..nothing, nothing but taking the dog for a walk and so on? LOADS. Fucking loads.

Problem is, I was gonna do pushups... but I can't cause my torso is ACHING from sore muscles haha I could barely do one. I was like AAAAAARRGGGHHH2348679+HIOFJHGKHN MOTHERFUCKING OUCH! haha

Oh but let me put it this way.
I can do three times as many exercises now as I could 5 days ago. Uh huh. One of the extremely  few good things about my body. I build muscles fast as fuck. Naprapaths and trainers fn love me haha

Apart from that, there's not many good things about my body I guess. Except that I have nice tits and juicy thighs as my coach once said -__-

Oh I also have so much fun with my pilates ball :D That was one of the best buys I've ever made.



But seriously. I need to release a lot of stress and frustration.

Many people are giving me a lot of pressure. Soooo much pressure.  I can't be there for everyone all the time. I'ma take some time and focus on me and what I wanna do. And when I leave, oh god... it'll be heaven <3

But all I can do now is hide. And that's honestly all I wanna do as well. Cause I'm scared I'll lash out at some poor bastard if I don't.

It's sick that I had 36 missed calls today. And 18 texts. And that would be the texts I DIDN'T answer. I'm excluding the texts I did answer. It's insane. And some people just keep calling even though they KNOW that I wanna be alone. People that needs to tell me eeeeeverything, just nagging and nagging. It's like a broken record. I swear to god  it's the same story over and over again.. Always the same topic. And what's up with asking questions when you don't even want to know the answer?! 
Here's a tip: DON'T ASK ABOUT SOMETHING YA DON'T WANNA KNOW. There.

Don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not sad or down. Tbh, I'm quite the opposite. :) I have the best boyfriend in the world, who always backs me up and gives me so much love. And I have the best family ever that always support me. And the dearest friends that never judge me, and boosts me up. My closest one's actually don't give me any crap at all tbh.  If they do, I'll get scared cause I'll seriously be worried if they're sad or angry then since it rarely happens.

And no. for fuck sake... No, I wont answer if anyone asks me 'am I considered a close one'? FUCK OFF.

See, I can't even pretend to be nice now. 
Just fuck off. 

I care about you all, but NO....just no.

So. . . I shall Go AWOL on everyone. No more answering the phone. It's on my bedroom table at all times now, most of the time it's turned off.

I live where I live, drop by if you have something to say. But my phone is in solitary confinement for now.
I wanna spend these two weeks HAPPY thank you very much.