Long time no see

Hey there.... It's been a while hasn't it? 

A loooong while. 

Sorry about that 😬 I didn't mean to. 

It's just that my life has been so fucked up this past year or two that I forgot to blog. Cause let's face it, what was there to blog about? 

I mean, yeah....lots of shit has happened. There's no denying that. It's been a fucking roller coaster if you think about it.....and I think everybody can agree that 2020 sucked fucking ass, am I right? 

 But somehow I kinda just lost the urge to write. I even distanced myself from people and social medias in general. 

You could say I was having a hard time accepting facts about my disease, among other things. And I still haven't fully accepted all of it if I'm gonna be completely honest. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I do have a plan now. Might not be the best of plans but it's a fucking plan and I'm running with it. Hmph!  

But I'm gonna try to get more into writing again too. We'll see how that goes 🙄 Don't judge me too hard if I fail lol But writing, even just writing about what a giant turd I shit out this morning, still makes me feel like I've done something. (I mean the writing, not shitting out a giant turd) And it's also about time that I surrendered and accepted facts in life. Doesn't mean I'll stop fighting though 😏

But anyway, look at my little Freyster here. She ain't so little anymore is she? 

My beautiful little winter princess. 

I can at least give y'all an small useless update on life at the moment:

At the moment, I'm getting ready to go out for a walk with Frost & Freyster. I woke up not long ago from snuggling Frost. And Freya came in and jumped us in bed and we all had a cuddle party as she likes to call it. It was fucking awesome btw.  Not to sound like I'm bragging, but I do feel lucky that I have a husband that loves me the way he does. And the way he makes me feel. And I'm lucky to have a daughter with such a philosophical and deep mind. They're both super supportive of me..

I had a knee surgery two weeks ago and they've been all over me trying to help and shit. I've been wrapped up in cellophane wrap and ducttape and showered like an alien baby by Frost. Fed like a puppy by Freya. Snuggles every day. And I'm so ready to get better lol Also damn, just got a massive heartburn. Shit. Well that's just icing on the cake 😑🍰

I'd say Frosts love, support and his snuggles, and Freya's love laughter and her deep mind is what had kept me going. As cheesy as it sounds, I'm fucking grateful for having my family. 

Cause I do hate myself more often than not, but whenever that happens: those two crazy fartstains do their best at either changing my mind or distracting me hahaha 😜