I'm in bed trying to sleep (that's not gonna happen now, so I'll probably read a free volume of x-men)
But there's something that's been bother me all day long..
My right tit.
MY GOD MY TIT HURTS.
It's been hurting all day.
At the exact same spot. Gawd... :<
Well I suppose of you're a guy this is kinda hard for you to understand. I mean, you ain't got no boobs.
And bitch tits doesn't count (us females are still different)
But imagine one of your balls constantly aching a little. A sharp lil pain. Just about enough for you to worry and complain... But not enough to be like HEY CALL ME A FUCKING AMBULANCE, MY RIGHT NUT IS FALLING OFF kinda feeling.
Now, my boob is probably (eh..hopefully) a looooot bigger than your testicle.
If not....I don't mean to scare you or anything... But I suggest you see a doctor ASAP.
Anyway, sidetracked. That's kinda the stupid pain I've been having all day. It's been hurting a lot. A sharp pain. And right now that's all I can focus on. Tit. Pain. Stop. I need sleep. Tit. I'm tired. Tit. Ouch.
Plus, in the room with the vet and lei lei and Josse... It felt like I was in fucking menopause! Felt like I was dying from overheating in there.
Luckily we know menopause is not something I need to worry about yet haha
Aaaah I'm not the only one who had a rough day. Poor lei lei deserves a fn medal. We both need sleep. And a high five.
Welp, I decided to be all goodie and homie and housewifey today.so I squeezed my own orange juice.
Blood orange to be exact. And.. Yum!
I've done well. Hah.
Ah I've also made a special breakfast for Lei Lei. Which I'm guessing she didn't enjoy that much. But it was healthy. Her usual dog food soaked in water so it got all fluffy, and some bread pieces in there to soak up...and then I squished a banana in yoghurt. And just blended it all together an added her medication.
I read online that bananas can constipate dogs sometimes. Which sounded extremely nice compared to how she was yesterday lol
We'll also see if today is a better day than yesterday. I think there's a chance :3
Apart from him being lucky to have such a brilliant Jo...
Here I am, laying in bed.. It's 02:30.. I went to bed around 21:30 cause I was sooooo sleepy. Like you know, so sleepy that you can barely keep your eyes open.
And then I woke up right after midnight. And couldn't fall back asleep. -___- great.
And now I've kinda just given up on this bullshit...
I'm just gonna lay here like an idiot.
And stare into the darkness.. Yep.
I'ma talk to Frost when he comes home.
This is so uncomfortable for me... When my emotions run wild like this. Up and down.
I'm sitting here, crying my freakin' eyes out D':
Willow lost her Tara... And she turned into a black witch. And now she's just crying and crying cause if she wants the love of her life back but she can't cause Tara died!!! OMG my hormones.... My eyes! My tears!
OMG. Poor willow... :(
Well, let's talk about something else...
So I was at "work" today. It was only two hours really. But I must say, what a nice feeling it is to work with someone who really fucking likes you :) Best employer in the worlds.
We had fun. ^_^
And also, Frost went to Atlanta Georgia today. To the Swedish consulate! :3 WOHO!
One step closer <3
Dear lord I love that man. And I'll continue to love him even in the afterlife. <3
I can't wait till he's back.
Anyway, I feel kinda shitty right now. So I'll rest and watch Buffy. Yep.
So today we had a nice big breakfast at moms place :) me, Robin and Josse and mom.
And the dogs haha
I made American pancakes, we had maple syrup, round bread, eggs and juice. It was a very pleasant morning.
Lately I've been feeling a little crappy.
But it's for a good cause, or whatever they say haha
One of my bosses called me today, he called to let me know that I can't start working just yet. They're still not quite done with the schedules and the customers.
But oh well, I shouldn't complain.
I got hired without a resumé.. No references or anything. Just my personality and junk. So I should be pretty thankful.
Nowadays every week is a new step. Every week has a big meaning to.
I'm happy and excited.
And I hope that my man can come back fast. But I'll have to be patient <3
Sooooo anyway, I've been watching 4 seasons of Sons Of Anarchy now in three days. Maybe I've been watching a little too much? But I've been kinda saucy and sluggish in my head lately. I don't sleep very well. I lay awake feeling sick or thinking thoughts. Planning stuff.
Things that should be thought during the day hahaha!
Sofia dropped by today. :)
That was nice. We had coffee and talked a bunch. Talked about our men, our lives and our future and dreams :)
Only one way to look at now.
And that's ahead. ^_^
I'm sitting here, pondering about stuff.
It amazes me how difficult it is for me to let go of some things... It so hard for me to stop thinking about all the shit I went through at my old job. It makes me weak. Makes me question myself from time to time.
All the lies they said about me...
The fact that I was an outcast since day one. People talking about me behind my back...
For an entire year I put up with this bullshit, thinking that if I stayed strong, did my work well and smiled everything would be ok in the end.
To be told that I'm hated by everyone. And that I didn't don't job right.
It affected me really bad...
And now I'm seriously terrified of having a net job, starting over.
What if I'm hated again?
I have no references anymore.
It all vanished.
Three months ago I was popular with the boss. And now suddenly this? I don't understand...
I couldn't believe that anyone would be such and asshole telling such horrible lies.
And I feel like I can't trust people...
I'm afraid to work. Is that silly?
I lay awake at night thinking about this.
Will I ever be able to move on?
Can I ever stop thinking that I'm the problem? That it's my fault?
Do I have such a weird personality that I was hated from day one?
I ever tried to be the quiet type instead of my normal talkative me.
Nothing I did worked...
Welp... It's confusing, like that "translator". Haha
That's how much sense everything makes to me right now.