Sunday, November 27, 2016


I've been meaning to post the Thanksgiving pictures for since friday, but I keep forgetting.

Mom probably has better pictures on her phone but these will have to do for now ;D

I managed to get a supercute pic of my brother and Freya.
She actually leaned over and kissed him :) SO adorable..

I made the turkey, and I fucking ROCKED.
It's was delicious and awesome.
Good job me.

 Kattis made sweet potato pie :D
And Nathalie made pecan pie which was (as it is every year) fucking delicious.

Monday, November 21, 2016


My wild weasel passed out <3
We've been at home all day doing stuff... Yep.
Even though they're renovating upstairs, making a fuckton of noise πŸ˜‘

You know...  I wanna stab that motherfucking drill in someone's skull. So so bad.

It scares the shit out of Freya when they drill like that.... you can't even think cause it's so loud. My head started hurting... so I can only guess how it was for Freyster.
But it's quiet now again... and she's asleep. 

We'll head to my mom's place later. I'm gonna make a Christmas wreath. With pine and stuff. Supahpwetteh!

16 reason why I'm not rich or famous

16 (maybe not to fun) facts about Mama Jo:
You won't find anyone more honest than me. -_-

  • I'm probably the laziest person you'll ever know
  • My 3 biggest addictions are videogames, chocolate and opiates. (and Frost's ass)
  • I'm so mellow that it makes people wonder (and no it's not cause I'm high you dumbfuck)
  • My memory is so bad you'd think I have Alzheimer. 
  • I'm allergic to silver (it burns me)
  • I have the attention span of a goldfish
  • I am still ridiculously in love with Frost like I was when I first fell for him.
  •  I've been high for 2 years straight
  • I've been on a sickleave for 2 months now
  • I'm very good at talking. (in fact, the way I talk attracts people..... for better and for worse...)
  • Despite all my flaws, I still think it's hard to find someone more awesome than me.
  • If it was legal... I'd probably be a fulltime stoner.
  • I don't drink alcohol. (It's not carved in stone. I can drink if I want to)
  • I don't watch TV
  • I LOVE finding series to binge watch. 
  • I hate drama and confrontations so I tend to just hide behind Frost. 
  • There's no way in hell I'll ever run. I'd rather stay and fight a zombie horde than run... I hate running. #bigBoobsproblems
  • I haven't had any opiates in almost a week. :D (Withdrawals are over)
  • Someone once asked me if I had some mental problem cause it's not normal to never get angry and always be chill. (?)
  • The smartest person I know is my beeb.
  • I suck at math. Which is why this isn't 16 facts.
  • And lastly... this is what I'm listening to right now:

Sunday, November 20, 2016


I've been fucking lazy when it comes to blogging....
I've just been doing mommy stuff and playing videogames. Yep.
Talking about games... I've been temporary suspended by Microsoft on Xbox. πŸ˜’
Yeah apparently I've been cussing too much and or been too offensive.
The fuck is wrong with you guys?
If someone calls me a whore.  I will most defintely defend myself. Duh.
So yeah.... I'll shut a person up. I'm very good at that. And I'm good at always winning the convo. Buuut I guess some asshole took it a step further. πŸ˜‘
Any idea how pissed off I am?
I'm fucking furious.

Anyhoooo.... moving on.
I've done stuff all week. Not juuuust mommy stuff and games.
I went for fika with Frost lol we had a sweet little date. Sometimes those are very needed :)

Yep. And Freyster has taken a liking to skylanders on Netflix.
She's also in a period where music has to be played a lot. I don't mind though..  she's got damn good taste in music. 😊 haha

Lots of ccr, Ozzy Osbourne, Steve Miller, The Temptations, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kansas, whitesnake and  Van Halen among others. She's got a vide selection of songs in her very own playlist. She's also very fond of OMFG's music. Which is the complete opposite of all her other favs lol
But yeah... that's about it.

I've been watching Teen Wolf all day trying to make time move faster.
But I think it slows it down instead?
But Dylan O'Brian is fucking hilarious. He makes the show. Yep. Haha (I miss Derek though.. ) he's perfect as superman! πŸ˜ƒ

Well I'm gonna continue sitting here and be angry at Microsoft.
How much damage can one chick do anyway? Huh?!
What...some asshole got offended by my words?
Which was It? Dickwaffle? Slipperlicker? Flowerfuck? Nincompoop? Cupcake? I use very odd words. So what the actual fuck?! 
I'm usually very mellow. But this shit just aint right...

Anyway... here's Freyster watching cartoons <3 This makes me smile.
Thank the gods for this little weasel.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Movie week

So we've been watching a fuckton of movies this week.

On Monday I surprised Frost with a date and a movie. (I'm like so freakin' romantic aye?)
We watched Dr. Strange. It was ok... It was a whole lot squeezed into one movie ya know?
But pretty good anyway. Cumberbatch is amazeballs as always.

And yesterday we watched Sausage party.... omfg. haha I loved it! it was sooo anti-PC that it was insane. Fucking hilarious hahaha So rasist too lol but in a fun way :P Salma Hayek playing a taco! A FUCKING TACO! hahahaha

And tonight we watched The BFG with Freyster. Such a sweet and beautiful movie <3
Then again, I do have a soft spot for Roald Dahls stories. *looooove*

Aaaaand now we're watching Deadpool (agaaaan tihihih) Man, Ryan... you are just awesome.
I think people like this movie cause he acts the way we act right?
I talk to myself the same way he does.... maybe that's why people like him?

Or maybe I'm just insane and shouldn't be talking to myself at all huh?

You should've seen Frost face when I told him this............................................ -_-
Like... like he doesn't act that way. Like he doesn't talk to himself? O__o


Freya fell asleep a while ago... and Frost is sitting here half asleep now haha
he's been working hard all week. A lot of overtime- Which is goooooood :3

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

More snow!

Hah I found fake eyelashes in my usual photo editing app. Amazing. I always did wonder what I'd look like if I got thicker lashes. Well I didn't go all out...I made it subtle. :) haha

But still..... I wonder how many people that edits their photos this way. You'd get a shock if you saw them in real life then lol

Welp, I've done some cleaning and done dishes today. Bought potatoes and ground beef...and cream.
I'm making something superswedish for dinner tomorrow. Yum yum.

Or maybe I should make it today? Hmm.... yeah ok. Today it is.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016


Aaaah I'm so happy that it's snowing!
It's finally this season!
Omigooooosh I cant wait till I get to Christmas decorate!!
Anyhoo...we've had a good day. 😊
I've cleaned the house and then me and LeiLei took a stroll to moms place and  had breakfast. Lei lei defintely excited over the snow haha
Aaaand I've been to town with Freyster ♡  we had a good time. We just walked through the snow to town and she got a smoothie to drink while we went window shopping  ☆  And then we went around and looked at stuff at the pet store  :)
She's a sleep now...little angel. πŸ’œ
She's been eating good today too ^_^

Frost hurt his wrist at work, so he's a widdle gwumpie... :P  haha he's got work all week though. So I hope it doesn't hurt too bad. We gotta take good care of the new breadwinner ya know? lol hahahaha

Better times

Morning morning sunshines!
Did you know that it's been snowing a lot here lately?
I'm gonna post some snow pics later.

Freya is feeling much better. Thank heavens for that. My little weasel <3
Me on the other hand....well. I'm stomach is weak. I was gonna burp yesterday but instead I threw up all over my self in the sofa. Sweet. I'm really easily nauseous today. Bllaargh...
Frost is at work atm. And I'm getting Freyster ready for the day. Her tummy is better so I'm not that worried anymore. Tbh....she's been eating kinda bad so that's why she's going to daycare. She always eats like a crazy person there haha  So I figured this is an excellent way to get her to eat. :)
Since she's bit contagious and she's lively and happy I see no problem in it. I had her home yesterday just to make sure she was better :)

She ate a decent breakfast today. Some yogurt with gluten free granola.. and 2 freakin' bananas. Guess she was hungry. πŸ’Ÿ
And guess what my little sweetpea is doing right now? She's brushing lei lei.
I was brushing her and then Freya came over and wanted to brush her too. So I showed her how to. (Of course it was only fun for a little bit) But I think she did it too help me out. She's been picking up stuff and helping me clean this morning.
It's all about how you approach her about cleaning. Naturally cleaning is boring. Especially for a kid. But when you ask her to help mommy cause It's soooo hard for mom. She comes running fast AF to help me ♡♡♡

It feels so good to have her home again.
At night when It's Freya's bedtime we ALL lay down in bed together to help her sleep. I want her to feel as secure as possible. Especially since I won't be able to do these things all the time once work starts again.

Oh and I realized something stupid. I went through withdrawals too soon. πŸ˜‘
I mean...the point was that I was going to switch  right? Well...the new pills won't come till like end of the month. Hopefully. So...that means I'd be without pain relief the entire month. And I know I can't do that. I'll be in so much pain that I'll  turn into that bitchy rage monster I was. I wasn't nice at all. I was literally like a rabid dog. I ain't doing that to my loved ones again.

I WILL switch painkillers. Whether the doc agrees or not. I want something less "extreme". A persons tolerance towards opiates ain't supposed to be this high. 

I know who I am. And I know how I want to live 😊
My family is top priority  :D

Monday, November 7, 2016

It's been a while

I've got some real shit to tell you.
If you don't wanna hear my complaining now...I suggest you scroll down.
Cause this ain't peachy. And the truth ain't pretty.
I'm going to write about my weekend.

See....I've had a crappy week tbh... Freyster's sick and she's not getting better. Which worries me a lot. I've had a weekend with withdrawals and a man that's sick AF too. So Freyster got to stay with granny. I'm very grateful for that. Cause we've been dead all weekend.
Sooo...I've got a plan. There's a reason why I'm going through withdrawals.
My plan is to stop using all opiates. ☺

Opiates....they're SO good. They make you feel warm and fussy and the pain goes away. They make everything a little easier. But they rip you apart when you stop taking them.
It's just not worth feeling like shit once you're off of them. And if I want to have another kid...opiates ain't gonna help me. So I'm getting clean and I'm gonna ask my doctor to let me eat tramadol instead. They're like 20 times lighter than my current painkillers. So yeah, I'll probably be in pain a lot cause they won't work as well as the others. But it's so much easier getting clean from tramadol than it is with oxy's. 

It's worth a shot right?
My doctors try to control everything...I've tried for half a year now to tell them that I don't want the 12 hour pills. Cause I don't want it in my system ALL the damn time. I wanna be able to just take a fucking painkiller when I'm in pain. Like everyone else. But they insist on having me on oxycotin 24 hours a day. It's too much.
Because of my EDS, it doesn't affect my mind the way it does others. My mind doesn't get clouded and weird. I don't get "high" either.  I feel better.. yeah. But not high. But still, I don't want that shit running through my veins 24/7. Buuuuut because of ny EDS I'll always need painkillers. But I just want to be able to handle the pain without it sometimes. Ya know?
So I'm gonna change that.
I need to change my life a lot. And I'm gonna start soon. I've already gone through the worst part of withdrawals. (I hope there's not more....) haha So I'm hoping that the doctors will see all the effort I put into it and listen to what I say. And understand that I want to try something else. Something easier and less addictive.
I'm doing this for love. πŸ’–
You'd think doctors would help you try something lighter than the second strongest shit you can take. But they're surprisingly resistant.
The next step would obviously be methadone since my tolerance has gone up so damn high. Do I really wanna go through that? FUUUUUUUUCK NOOOO.
Did you know that getting clean from methadone can take up to 2 months (going through the withdrawals I mean) that's excruciating pain every day and diarrhoea and Headaches and fevers and shit. There's supposedly nothing worse than getting off of those meds. I ain't going down that road.
For those of you that don't know what it feels like going through withdrawals.... It's fucking painful and exhausting. Like someone is stabbing me in my gut repeatedly. Your bowels give up and you fucking poop you guts out too. It just hurts so bad. Like your insides are being torn apart.  Everything hurts. My EDS flares up and gets 20 times worse. Every fiber of my body hurts... I'm sweating like a pig. And I'm pretty sure this is what it feels like to die when your organs give up.
It's a living hell.
While with tramadol...withdrawals takes less than two days. And it feels like a flu.
See why I want them instead?
Cause I wanna be able to stop on my own free will WHEN I want to.
I've accepted the fact that I'll need painkillers for the rest of my life.
But I wanna be able to control what I can when it comes to my own body.
I dont want anything in my system when I start to TRY to get pregnant. I don't want anything that could harm the baby. Thus, I wanna be able to quit easily when I've made up my mind.
And I wanna loose weight too but my mind is just not very strong atm. Things are just rough right now. And I feel like I'm losing my way. I can't focus on too many things.
I worry a lot. A loooooot.
But just now... I was holding Frost while he slept cause he wouldn't stop shivering. His fever is being a dick and me clinging on to him seemed to make him shiver less.
That's what I've done to Freya when she's been shivering. I use my bodyweight to keep her calm and warm and it works. So i did that with Frost.
So when I laid there...holding him. I remembered my path that I chose.
I want happiness with the man I love and with my amazing daughter. We're getting married and next year I want to be able to have another child.
I want to help Frost handle his anxiety... help him so that it doesn't control his life as it does now.
And I want to be there for my friends and family when they need me.
Being on a sickleave has made things easier tbh. I have more energy  (well obviously not right NOW.... but you know...) I'm getting better.
So I'm going to find my way again.
And it'll take time to loose weight... But I'll get there.
And other things that's been gnawing on me is that Freyster's been sick since the friday over one week ago. I'm getting really worried...she doesn't get to keep any food. πŸ™ My poor baby. I've literally been awake all night again. Mostly due to eds related problems but also cause I cant stop thinking. It's 6:58 now. I hope I can fall asleep even for a little.
Today will be a better day.
All I can do is walk forward with my head up high. Holding on to my family.
Plus....Christmas is coming and that's my favorite time of the year! What's not to be excited about? πŸ˜ƒ
I wanna hug an snuggle Freya. I've missed her while she's been with her granny.
Well..wish me luck with convincing my doctor to let me have something lighter than oxy's.
Something so simple is actually so hard. πŸ˜‘
I'm going to write a better post later today. :) I promise.

Freyster keeps me sane though :P
Our sunshine <3