Saturday, September 23, 2017


Slacking off on the couch and enjoying my oh so very tasty coffee, while watching some Astrid Lindgrens stuff with my snuggle monster πŸ’›

Freya went to the dentist yesterday πŸ˜€
She was such a good girl. She was scared though, but when the dentist counted my teeth, she realized that it's ok lol So she let them count hers too.
Afterwards we went to a little store and let her pick out some toys.
Cause she was so brave, and it made me proud. πŸ’›

I bought her a little bag with big pretty glass marbles in it. And for some reason, that was the best gift ever haha She loves her marbles. I gotta say though, they are very pretty πŸ’˜

Today is just like a...snuggle day? yeah a snuggle day. Cold wet weather, playing some destiny while Freya enjoys her Pippi LΓ₯ngstrump show πŸ’š Gave her a giant fruit salad too, without the cream.
Yeah, she's in an anti-cream face right now for some reason.

And I'm about to start making dinner now. Chicken with chanterelle (a yellow mushroom) sauce and either pasta or bulgur with it. Can't really make up my mind about that. πŸ˜• Pasta would probably be tastier with a rich creamy sauce with it huh?'s leaning towards pasta. Freyster will get her gluten free animal pasta haha it's adorable. Got some top notch broth to put in the sauce too. Mmm... Groovy gravy baby.

Oh and I was doodling on Frosts phone earlier, and (I wasn't snooping btw, if that's how it sounds lol I was just sending myself some pics that I took with his phone. Cause my phone fucking sucks giant donkey ballsπŸ˜’) I saw this photo of them. 😍
Omigosh how cute are they?! Look at my amazing sweethearts πŸ’œ
Seriously, I love this photo of them. They're fucking adorable!
(argh, I just reminded myself of how much I hate my cunt phone)

Freya absolutely loves starts and moons and planets. 
That's why I had to put the little clud with stars on the photo haha πŸ˜‚
I think it's awesome that she does though, cause I did too when I was a kid.
(well I still do haha And it just so happens to be that Frost is someone who loves reading articles and science texts about space and shit so yay that) 
It's rare for a child her age to like it though, but I think it's kinda cool. 
It's probably cause Frost always told her "Look at the moon, isn't it pretty?" 
and she just kinda got into the moon lol
So when were out and it's somewhat dark, we always go look at stars.

I'm gonna buy Freya some glow in the dark stars and planets and put in her ceiling.
She's got a star and moon projector that glows up the entire room at night. The walls and ceiling are covered in them. (Maybe I'll just buy her a new and better space projector some day?)

Well I think this is enough rambling about the day for now.
I should go get the chicken ready. Yum yum.

I'm gonna make a new header for the blog too today. It's autumn after all.
And I wanna change it since it makes me miss Lei lei so fucking much every time I look at it.
I will eventually change my blog address to Awesomestkoala too.
Same as my username on PS4 and xbox πŸ‘
plus, I don't have an asian dog anymore........................

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Songs from my teens

I figured I'd post some songs that I loved as a teenager. They're still good though :D

(did you know, my mom gave me this album with Offspring for christmas when I was 14? I was a happy doodle!)

I made my friend Veronica love Andrew WK in 7th grade :3

Fun fact: I saw Marilyn Manson live with Kurre and a ton of other friends :D
He's an amazing entertainer <--- I always found it funny to hear what christians thought of him lololol

another fun fact: I saw these fuckers live too. Epic <--

Many memories to all these songs :)

Alright, time to do the nightfall again πŸ’ͺπŸ˜€

Wednesday, September 20, 2017


Lili had little babies!
Itty bitty kitty babies!

well duh, I think we can all agree that kittens are adorable.

I'm not a cat person, but that doesn't stop cats from snuggling the shit out me. 😐
Buuut kittens...Oouuuhh...aaaw..I'm totally a kitten person. 
I'm an aaaaall animalbabies kind of person lol 

The sad part is that one little doodle died after 6 days.
And I was wondering how to make my friend feel better...Her bottlebaby died the other night.
But I suppose nothing can make one feel better at time like these.
You just gotta grieve and be sad.
It's normal to be sad, hey..I'm still sad over LeiLei. I still miss her so much...
So naturally she would miss the little baby that she bottlefed herself.

tbh, there's nothing she could've done to prevent it from happening.
It was the runt of the litter, but she kept her alive for almost a week πŸ’œ
Love got her that far. So that's kinda sweet.
She still has 5 others to keep an eye on. 
It was a surprisingly large litter for a ragdoll. And Lili did great πŸ’– 
I just hope she's not too hard on herself now, momma cat will care for her babies so I hope that she at least gets some sleep for once.
She barely slept when she took care of the wee one. She had to feed her every 3 hours 24/7...
so...yeah. I should make her a nice cup of coffee later. ☕☕

I just wanted to say that I think she's an amazing person :) She's an awesome crazy cat lady πŸ’š


Goooooood morning πŸ‘‹ (well I suppose it's almost lunch time now?)

Man, the entire family has been sleeping a lot lately. Not enough if you ask me though lmao I'm just sleepy all the time. For reals, I could seriously fall asleep right now while typing this. 

I've actually fallen asleep like twice already while writing hahaha 

Moving on, yes... I'll get my migraines checked so don't worry. For once I'll do as I'm told. πŸ˜‚ When is another question though haha 

Anyhoooo... I'm baking bread today.

 All kinds of bread with all kinds of flour. Yum!
I made scones too. Freya enjoyed eating freshly baked bread for breakfast. ☺
Then again, most people probably likes warm bread straight from the oven right? Warm loafs of bread with the butter meting on it too...yeah. Frost certainly loved it haha Who doesn't?

I also made blueberry and blackberry pie the other day, and chocolate chip cookies. According to Frost they were waaay better than subways πŸ˜†

I'm so happy right now. Autumn is here, it's getting colder and colder, Nathalies granny knitted the cutest cardigan with reindeers on it for Freya, alongside with an adorable winder hat too. So cute~ ❤

We've been going on longer walks lately, Freyster likes it. It was nice walking with my sister too. Freya and her are very cute together, and she loves Doris you know? 

Good God, I'm not kidding when I'm saying that I've fallen asleep 5 times while writing all this now... I'm just gonna go take a nap. How bout that? Yeah. 

oh and also, I made a fuckton of chili the other day. We have sooo many lunchboxes now. πŸ˜‚
Ieeet was however delicious, so we're happy :) (seriously though, that's one hell of a huge pot huh?)

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Tuesdays again

knooooow, I rarely blog these days. 
But it's cause I do other things I suppose. 

Prepare yourself cause this will be a VERY long post. 
I know I write and talk a ton whenever I get a weird reaction to my meds. So bear with me.
(don't worry, I'm not high. You can't get high on these neuro...thingy.. pills)

Sooooooo (drumroll)  I also had my first meeting with my psychologist last week. Waah! Cool huh? I never thought that I'd ever go talk to a shrink. But it's part of my EDS treatment too. I had to agree to it alongside of seeing a whole lot of other doctors too. She was one of the 7 people I have to see about my treatment. The whole point is to learn how to manage my pain, cause they worry that too much pain can make a person suicidal. (and I totally see why too) but it's also to keep my mentality at an even level or something? So she said the goal is to have a calm mind and just learning how to handle it mentally when I'm hurting physically. So dealing with the past is one of the steps of getting a calm inner self and shit...Sounded smarter when Marty said it πŸ˜’ 

Anyway, it was a well over 2 hour meeting. And it was pretty good. (I was fucking exhausted afterwards) She found a lot of stuff that I had locked away. Things I knew about, but hadn't put a name on. And after some time she said that I had a "rough" childhood, which I don't really agrre on... Me and my sister are like day and night. We also don't have the same childhood. She experienced one thing, and I another. She doesn't remember things that I remember and vice versa. According to the psychologist that's completely normal though. We just have different views. Plus I always felt that my dad loved her but not me. (it sounds lame and she doesn't see it that way but try telling a child how to feel)

Miss Shrink was very fascinated with my "way of thinking."  A unique mind so to speak. -_-  At first I don't really like the sound of that. (but I'm getting to that soon)
And how I kept my way of thinking from when I was a child to now. I still have my beliefs morals and my standards. She called it "abstract thinking". (I know, it doesn't sound good right?) She asked me about how my school years were, so I was honest and said that I became the outcast pretty fucking quick lol She obviously asked why. Liiiike they always do ahaha πŸ˜†

I told her that they always called me eerie, strange..(weirdo), and that they said my opinions (and I quote) weren't normal, and I was fucking weird too. lol  I didn't look like they did either, cause I refused to dress like they did. I'd rather die than wear those white see through pants with black thongs underneath it. God damn it that was awful..Fashion changed fast back then, and those girls always tried sooo hard to keep up with it. I always thought they were lame AF. (I had Onka though, my only friend. And we stuck together like glue haha)
I wore my torn jeans, my leather jacket that mom used to wear in the 70's, and I proudly liked my music, and I just refused to change. (now that's actually one part of me that I can say I'm proud of. It's not the easiest thing to find things you like about yourself and so on right?..) 

Back then big eyebrows was considered ugly...lmao funny huh? So obviously mine were hideous in their eyes 😁 And I refused to shave mine ahaha Those bitches actually shaved their eyebrows ahahaha. SHAVED THEM! lolololol

Mom said that I was unique and that she liked that I dressed however I wanted to dress, not how everyone else did, so I had that going for me. πŸ’›
And you know, that mattered a lot. Having a mom who supported you I mean, I told the shrink that mom would even call the school sometimes, and let me stay home so I didn't have to go to field trips and and all that lame shit with the school. -_- Ugh... Thank god for that. I hated my class, so just imagine spending 48 hours on a filed trip with those cunts. Abominable.

But I think I know the exact moment I became an outcast though.πŸ‘ˆ 
We were thirteen, and all of the girls were changing in the locker room. And one of the "cool girls"  were talking about her boyfriend and how he was so nice to her, and he was sweet when they had sex and stuff.... He was 2fucking3 years old. 23. 😨  Motherfucking eeeew... I kinda saw it as pedophilia.  (but apparently other girls my age didn't see it that way)

Aaaaaall the girls were fawning over him saying that he was so cool and how romantic it was blah blah blaaaah... And I said 'Don't you think it's weird that he's with a kid and not with someone his own age?' while I got dressed.
And before I noticed their looks I kinda chuckled a little and said to myself with a semi low voice 'Ah... maybe it's cause a grown woman can think on her own lolololol' and I thought I was so funny too, cause I made a joke to myself hπŸ˜†
And when I turned around, the hatred and disgust in their eyes was soooo fucking intense lol maaaan, if looks could kill.

Yeah, that's the moment I became the school's biggest outcast. 

Yeah then we went through school life, work life, adult life and so on and so much talking...Private stuff, but she also pointed out that I learnt at an early age to shut down my emotions. Like an on/off button. According to her it made life easier for me. 

 She asked me more about certain subjects, and if it was easy for me to learn languages. So I said yeeeeeees, since I can learn a language completely almost in 3 months. IF I'm motivated. (which I rarely am) And then she asked me about friends. If I'm capable of talking about my EDS, and if I get support and so on. So we talked about my precious fucksticks lol jk jk. Well we came to the conclusion that I'm very lucky πŸ’œ (but I already knew that though haha)

And then she asked me if I've considered studying and junk, maybe learning new languages too, she asked about my art and she brought up my "unique mind" again. ( in my head, "unique mind" doesn't necessarily mean something good. It can actually be a bad thing too right?) So I sat there and just listened to her. 

And then she said:
 "Have you ever been told that you might have quite a high IQ? 
Because you show signs and traits of having a very high IQ." 

And that was so not what I expected her to say hahahaha And immediately I remembered how I was called an idiot back in the day because I did things differently or thought differently etc. 
How dad would call me an dumbass πŸ˜’ So much love right there yeah.
 "Why no. No I haven't. That has never crossed my mind before, nor anybody else's. Cause I'm terrible at math". lol  She told me that math has nothing to do with it, and that she would like it if I looked into it. I did not see that meeting taking this kind of turn.
And I agreed on looking further into that next time. 

Now I didn't tell her this, but me and friend are going to study together till spring :D (plan is to go to university together, a certain program that we really wanna go to) And Marty will help me with math till then. Also, I got an earful when I told Marty about what the shrink told me about the IQ -_- "Idiot, I knew that. How could you not have noticed that you have an extremely high IQ?! I noticed it years ago already." lmao well I'm sorry, your'e truly a great mastermind for noticing this years ago you genius turd -_-(Ah Marty actually is a genius btw) Well, let's see what spring has in store for us. It's a few months left so to speak so we do have time to study and have fun :D

My new meds are making me sooo sleepy. Nonstop. Amitrypline makes me feel like a zombie.
Good grief............ I wrote a fucking novel. 
Well, they do their job though. I don't cramp as much at night. But my body hasn't really gotten used to them yet. So I feel like a walking corpse....all that's missing is the drool lmao

Well it's alright. Who cares that I wrote a ton. You don't have to read it do you? 
Plus, I did find the things she said to be interesting.

There is however oooone thing that I'm having mixed feelings about.
Me having "a very high IQ". I mean woooooh that's awesome of course... Sure.... BUT, what good would that do me? A 31 year old mom. It's a little late don't think?

Ah, I still wanna study the things I'm interested in obviously :)
But I wish someone would've told me in my teens that I had high IQ instead. Maybe things would've been different then.Maybe I would've done more.
Instead I let a teacher ruin everything. He literally ruined my school life completely. He was the reason I stopped doing things. He's the reason I stopped asking if I didn't understand something, Olle that fucker, made me not try anymore. I kinda just gave up and figured that why try if I'm too stupid anyway? If he hadn't done what he did... then things would've definitely been different.
So if I had been told that I had in fact high IQ, then I probably would've believed in myself a little more and questioned that asshole.
Yeah, maybe the 14 year old me would've been even more awesome then ;) haha

But oh well, useless thoughts for the past.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017


It's datenight tonight! WOOOOH!
And we're going to see IT :D it's actually the premiere here today so that's cool.
I can't wait!

I loved IT, I mean... it did scare the living shit out of me as a kid. (it was those idiot guys fault..they told me that we'd have a movie night and then played IT -_- You know how mean teenage boys can be. And I was surrounded by them, fucking tools) Years later though, I learned to appreciate the movies though. I got over my weird fear of clowns. 

Well, maybe not over over it..but I'm not terrified of them.

Back then, when we lived in Zinkgruvan, I'd often stay over at my friends house real late.
Most of the time at least 3 guys would walk me home through the woods. (cause it's through the fucking woods and I was 15 for fuck sake and I'm also scared of Mooses) 
(pic from google)

But that night, for some reason aaaaaall the dudes were busy. BjΓΆrn, Tobbe, ThorbjΓΆrn, Arun, Kirre and Ludwig... ALL of them soooo busy. So I had to walk home alone at 4am.... on my own.... I was sooooo scared. Absolutely terrified. (I mean god forbid a clownmoose would show up)

And cellphones weren't quite the same back then lol So it's not like I could talk to anyone at 4am.

Well anyway, long story shortish... the reason no one walked me home was cause those fucksticks were all busy hiding outside behind corners, trees and bushes in the woods with red balloons. Those diiiiicks. Man I might even have peed myself at one point.........................

So yeah, it took me a few years to accept IT and enjoy it. But eventually I did. 
It is one of Stephen Kings masterpieces after all :D

And I can't wait to see Bill SkarsgΓ₯rd as Pennywise :)

Well I know I'm gonna love it :D

Ok, shower time. Gotta get ready and stuff.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Crazy train

I'm superoverheated today. -__- Even though it's kinda chilly outside. (Have I mentioned how excited I am that autumn's finally here?)

I'm about to watch Preacher and drink my cappuccino now....chillin' like a villain.
But first, a little tuesday tune:

I've been listening to Black Sabbath and The Ramones on my morning walk 

Depending on what Frost wants to do later I might play bo3 with the other douochebags... time will tell.

I stayed up till past 2am playing games and talking tonight, I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried to get sleepy... I wasn't sleepy at all. (probably due to the migraine I had on sunday, I rested so much that I didn't want it on monday lol) But I had a fun night. Freya woke me up like 06:45 so there's that too... haha

Aaaaaah what to do, what to do.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Happy autumn day!

Well I don't even know if there's such a thing as "autumn day", but there totally should be. I'd celebrate it like crazy. Cause mesa loves the fall. 

Me and Freyatron are watching The Smurfs, sell she is... I'm watching the new season of Outlander, and I'm sipping on my cappuccino while trying to wake up. (man, these past 24 hours have been weird AF...) stupid migraine.

I haven't blogged lately, yep... I noticed that. But I've been playing Destiny 2 non stop on the ps4 since it launched πŸ˜… 
(I've made new friends too so that counts as being productive.)

Freyster's been with granny & Lasse in their summer house all weekend. She loves it there. Aaaw I wish we lived on the countryside. That way we'd play in the woods everyday! And the fall always looks so much better outside the town. 

Well, I just wrote to let you know I'm alive. 
I've got a massive migraine that's been going on for 2 days now. Blah. So I'm hoping some fresh air and coffee will cure that today. 

Oh and also, love is great. Seriously. Love is really amazing. And I was genuinely happy to hear that someone I know finally found love. Congrats ☺

More love to the people! ❤

Sunday, August 27, 2017

good times

Ok, despite us being sickly this weekend, we still had an ok time :)

(I'll be writing about videogames a lot too so.. just scroll past that if you don't have an interest for it)

So anyway, Freyster's been riding her bicycle a lot lately. Every day to be exact. At least we push ourselves to go out for longer walks so she can ride her little bike daily. She's so good at it too.
First thing she did when she got it was to wroom away :)

I've been playing the CoD ww2 beta this weekend. Got good responds online too from my gameplay. :D
That's always a hoot right? haha  (though in my opinion it feels like that was a total ripoff of Bf1. It was the exact same pretty much. But hey, I had fun.) There was a few bugs but nothing major. 
And today I decided to start playing the new uncharted: the lost legacy
Loving it so far. Go women! And all that jazz... it is nice though, to see women be badasses like that for a change, don't get me wrong. I love Nathan Drake
But this is the new era of vaginas, ok dudes? lol

And yeah, I've played Tombraider. I know she has one too. But this is somehow different.
Probably cause it's two of them. You know, that game got such a huge response online due to it being feminist friendly and showing how to women can be true friends bla bla blah.
Frost was wondering what rock those women who wrote that had been living under. 
They were talking about how women are friends these days, because social media shows a different side. Like money and sex bladdibla. (I only listened to half he said..I know. One of my oh so many flaws eheh..) But yeah, he's right.

Getting sidetracked here but bear with me for a minute (or two)
The friends I have are amazeballs. I can't even imagine Nathalie or Onka or Marty (though Marty doesn't even swing that way lol Frost should worry that she'll steal me away instead ahahah Cause I'm so hot, in case you missed that part.) or Hanna or Moa or (omg I can't count them all ok..let's just stop now) but yeah, none of them would talk rudely to me or use me, stealing my man... whatever. Nah. No one of my buddies would be what social media portrait female friends to be.
Don't get me wrong... it's not like I've never come across women  like that. Man, I've met women that flirted with friends boyfriends or even slept with guys their friends liked etc etc. 
You know, pretty much what you see on TV. -_-
I never hung out in those kind of crowds though... I didn't really feel threatened from my 7 guy friends either hahaha

oh on a sidenote, I'm superexcited over the package that Madame Marty is sending meeeee. YAY!
She works for Lush so yeeeeaaaaah (proud snorky pose)

  Anyway.. thanks for bearing with me for a couple of minutes. Now we can continue the post...
(I can't help it. I can get incredibly sidetracked sometimes. I never run out of things to talk about)

Soooo....What else have we done this weekend. Hmmm... 
Just played, watched movies and series and snuggled and stuff. And played outside haha

We also took a stroll to town and watched the Pride parade :)
Freya's all for love ya know? 

Well have a happy sunday fart stains :D
We're waiting on food at the moment. Got some good deal from a place that has delicious chicken so we took it since we're all feeling a little crappy. It's a Lebanese place, so let's hope it's good today :)

Saturday, August 26, 2017


So we watched a movie the other day. The whole family :)

We watched Zootopia. haha I loved it. It's got one of my favorite actors in it too (Idris Elba. Hah...he's amazing) It's a good movie.

I mean, who doesn't like him? :3

It's also a movie America should watch riiiiiight now, considering those racist ingrates are destroying the country. It's got a good message.

OOooooh we also watched Storks yesterday. How have we not heard of this movie before?
I might've laughed harder than necessary but it was hilarious.