Binge watching

Well, we've been binge watching a lot of stuff lately. Binge watching.... The best way to pass time sometimes.

I have like 325 games, and I still couldn't find anything to do. I was so god damn bored.... But we've been watching Ballers a lot lately. And I like it ☺ Gave us something to do too.

And today it's Preacher since a new episode came out. See, the reason I like Preacher is cause they're sticking to the comic books. Jesse isn't a likable guy. He's selfish, jealous and kind of an asshole. But he'll step up if he has too. And Cassidy is the vampire... But he's kinder than the preacher. It's just a very unique series. 

And Ballers.... Well Ballers is just what it sounds like. Football 🙌 it's a good show. And I do like football, so I find it amusing. Some of them are so fucking stupid though. There's a lot of real NFL players in this show. So that's cool. 

Anyhoooo... Later today I'll be going out for a drive with my brother. Freya and Wille gets to play with granny while we're out. Yay~ ❤

I have a feeling that this will be a slow day. 

Frost made some delicious coffee for me this morning. Strong as heeeell too. Shooo.... It was good. ☕ Woke me right up,  like a fucking slap in the face lol

Got a lot of grocery shopping to do today. Woop woop. 

And I gotta do something that I'm subconsciously trying to postpone. I don't want to do this... It's breaking me from the inside out. My heart bleeds... And I don't even know how to do this without crying. I hate this... I hate having to make such a decision too. It's heavy and painful. 

And so I'm trying to postpone it, but I know it ain't right. I gotta make the call. 

Basically I'm just pretending that shit's fine and that I'm not sad at all. 

But I'm heartbroken... 💔 

I've always been good at not showing my emotions though. Can't show them right now... And I gotta smile and be warm right now. ❤

I'm not ready to write this down in words yet though. It makes it too real... 

I'll write about it once it's done... Once it's over. 

Just thinking the words inside my head breaks my heart even more. 

So for now I'll just call this me making a choice that needs to be made.