Tuesday, August 4, 2015

One of those EDS days

Today's a really rough "EDS" day...
One of those days when I wake up and can't breath, or move an inch.
Yet my instincts tell me that I have to, cause I'm a mom.
So I make it out of bed...slooooowly. Slower than a sloth actually. (anything to minimize the pain)
Give it my best to pick her up and go to the kitchen.

I sniffle in the kitchen a little cause the feeling of misery and helplessness is flowing over a weeee bit, while I smile at Freya cause she's too cute. She is cute.

She is the most precious part of me.

When Frost woke up he wondered why i didn't wake him up and asked for help, and I started bawling and sniffling like a little child who broke her mother's finest vase or something...

Cause deep down, I'm afraid that I'll be a burden to him.
Such a burden that one day he'll stop loving me cause it's just too hard.
Too many things to do. He'd be more of a caretaker than a husband.

But he's the best in the world.
My best friend and lover. The one I wanna die together with, in a bed when we're old like in 'The Notebook'. He's my Noah.

(I love that movie/book, although I'm nicer than Ellie.)

So he doesn't care about taking care of me he says.

But I care... I feel helpless and paralyzed at times.

But honestly, most of the time I'm actually really happy! Despite the pain, my life is filled with happiness.

§Right now there's a little chubby itty bitty finger poking one of the keys on the keyboard. It seems to be interested in the key that looks like this §§§§. Yep that's the one. §§

It was a wiggle weasel! I knew it. §§§§ I'll nibble on those fingers as a punishment. §haha As you can see, she's still at it even though I tell her not too and I push those little sausages away§ lol
Was I sad a while ago?
Can't remember.

But I smell bacon and cheesy eggs in the kitchen, and I hear my man doodling around in there, fixing stuff..

Yeah, I'm all good. :)
Life is awesome.
I have the best family in the galaxy!

I'm knitting a lot at home and on the bus (yes, the only weirdo on the bus who's knitting haha) But knitting helps me focus on something else ya know? Takes the edge of things. Right now I'm making a gorgeous scarf for Frost :D So he won't be cold in the winter.

Mom made it VERY clear that she did NOT want me to knit anything for her -_-


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