I've been trying so fucking hard to stay positive and to act cheery lately and all that crap and in the end everything came crumbling down anyway. I'm an emotional wreck right now and I've just realised what a panic attack feels like. It's painful. And hard to breathe.
But I've calmed down a bit.. My chest still hurts though... :/
I don't want to live if I have to loose Lei Lei. I don't give a fuck about how silly that sounds. If you're annoyed by it then go fuck yourself. I feel the way I feel.